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When new towns are planned, it is more important to develop public parks or sports facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their free time in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

When new towns are planned, it is more important to develop public parks or sports facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their free time in. m129O
When it comes to drawing out a scheme for new towns, some authorities tend to have a preference for public parks or sports halls rather than shopping malls. While I understand the concerns of whom hold this opinion, it is my personal conviction that both of those facilities need developing simultaneously. On the one hand, as the nowadays world is laden with depression, there is a great demand for recreational activities, hence parks and sports halls are top destinations for them to escape from the hustle and bustle in their lives. Besides, not only adults but also children benefit from these facilities. It seems that children these days stick to some kinds of smart devices so frequently that some physical activities are neglected, which can hinder the natural growth of them. Thus, they can hit some sports facilities such as swimming pools, indoor sports centers to engage in sports or public parks for some jogging, which can sustain their fitness and foster their physical and mental well-being. On the other hand, I argue that there should be room for shopping centers in any town. Trading is one of the most fundamental demands in our society. If one town lacked this kind of facility, there would be an array of disadvantages. First, local residents would have to travel a distant way to purchase their necessities, which could be an inconvenience, especially for those who do not have sufficient time. Second, they would have to spend a fortune for shipping costs when they shop online as a substitution. Finally, they will not be able to experience the sense of enjoyment when shopping firsthand in their free time. To conclude, I believe that constructing public parks or sports complexes as well as developing shopping malls are of equal importance as they will both facilitate the demands of the town dwellers.
When it
comes
to drawing out a scheme for new
towns
,
some
authorities tend to have a preference for public
parks
or
sports
halls
rather
than
shopping
malls. While I understand the concerns of whom hold this opinion, it is my personal conviction that both of those facilities need developing
simultaneously
.

On the one hand, as the nowadays world is laden with depression, there is a great demand for recreational activities,
hence
parks
and
sports
halls are top destinations for them to escape from the hustle and bustle in their
lives
.
Besides
, not
only
adults
but
also
children benefit from these facilities. It seems that children these days stick to
some
kinds of smart devices
so
frequently
that
some
physical activities
are neglected
, which can hinder the natural growth of them.
Thus
, they can hit
some
sports
facilities such as swimming pools, indoor
sports
centers to engage in
sports
or public
parks
for
some
jogging, which can sustain their fitness and foster their physical and mental well-being.

On the other hand
, I argue that there should be room for
shopping
centers in any
town
. Trading is one of the most fundamental demands in our society. If one
town
lacked this kind of facility, there would be an array of disadvantages.
First
, local residents would
have to
travel a distant way to
purchase
their necessities, which could be an inconvenience,
especially
for those who do not have sufficient time. Second, they would
have to
spend a fortune for shipping costs when they shop online as a substitution.
Finally
, they will not be able to experience the sense of enjoyment when
shopping
firsthand in their free time.

To conclude
, I believe that constructing public
parks
or
sports
complexes
as well
as developing
shopping
malls are of equal importance as they will both facilitate the demands of the
town
dwellers.
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IELTS essay When new towns are planned, it is more important to develop public parks or sports facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their free time in.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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