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When it comes to spare time, opinions are varied on what actions are more beneficial?

When it comes to spare time, opinions are varied on what actions are more beneficial? L96J6
When it comes to spare time, opinions are varied on what actions are more beneficial? In the response to the question, a number of experts have offered three ways including taking part-time jobs, professional physical exercise, learning to play musical instruments Among these factors, I think that the first option stands up as a critical place. I will elaborate on my reasons in the following paragraphs. To begin with. taking part-time jobs helps students to be more employable. In the fast-paced world, there is fierce competition in the job market. In this condition, having more knowledge and skills leads to having a competitive edge and helps them to get better occupational positions. On other hand, most courses of the university have been focused on theoretical aspects rather than practical ones, hence undergraduates are rarely aware of how to use this information in the real world. Taking temporary occupation assists them to correct misunderstandings. In addition, it leads to stimulate their interest. Scholars always hesitate to learn new things, when working, they attempt to find answers to their questions through various ways such as looking for in web site and asking questions from others. My personal experience is a good example. When I studied accounting in college, took a job in a car manufacturing company. I learned how to enter financial events in the ledger and how to calculate salary tax. It help me to enrich my resume and found a good job after graduating. Admittedly learning music and sport play a great role in our lives and help us to keep healthy and relieve stress_ But it is dispensable facts that students interests are extremely different from each other. In addition, they rarely have the same talent. Hence it is no advantage to spend time learning art or playing sport. Because it is impossible to continue. On the contrary, Students choose an academic field based on their own interests. Besides above mentioned. taking part-time jobs held to boost personal development. Obviously, students get acquainted with a number of people who have different experiences and backgrounds. interacting with these employees alow them to select characteristics and attitude of people that they like that seems to be helpful in future life.
When it
comes
to spare time, opinions
are varied
on what actions are more beneficial? In the response to the question, a number of experts have offered three ways including taking part-time
jobs
, professional physical exercise, learning to play musical instruments Among these factors, I
think
that the
first
option stands up as a critical place. I will elaborate on my reasons in the following paragraphs.

To
begin
with.
taking
part-time
jobs
helps
students
to be more employable. In the
fast
-paced world, there is fierce competition in the
job
market. In this condition, having more knowledge and
skills
leads to having a competitive edge and
helps
them to
get
better occupational positions. On other hand, most courses of the university have
been focused
on theoretical aspects
rather
than practical ones,
hence
undergraduates are rarely aware of how to
use
this information in the real world. Taking temporary occupation assists them to correct misunderstandings.
In addition
, it leads to stimulate their interest. Scholars always hesitate to learn new things, when working, they attempt to find answers to their questions through various ways such as looking for in
web site
and asking questions from others. My personal experience is a
good
example. When I studied accounting in college, took a
job
in a car manufacturing
company
. I learned how to enter financial
events
in the ledger and how to calculate salary tax. It
help
me to enrich my resume and found a
good
job
after graduating.

Admittedly
learning music and sport play a great role in our
lives
and
help
us to
keep
healthy and relieve stress_
But
it is dispensable facts that
students
interests are
extremely
different
from each other.
In addition
, they rarely have the same talent.
Hence
it is no advantage to spend time learning art or playing sport.
Because
it is impossible to continue.
On the contrary
,
Students
choose an academic field based on their
own
interests.

Besides
above mentioned.
taking
part-time
jobs
held to boost personal development.
Obviously
,
students
get
acquainted with a number of
people
who have
different
experiences and backgrounds.
interacting
with these employees
alow
them to select characteristics and attitude of
people
that they like that seems to be helpful in future life.
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IELTS essay When it comes to spare time, opinions are varied on what actions are more beneficial?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
368 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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