Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Being ponished or rewarded

Being ponished or rewarded r13Wo
Commencing with, some people argue that students perform better at school if they are being praised for their good job but the others claim that punishment always has the great answer. In my opinion, I agree with the first idea. Host of us are too well aware that punishment some times can be effective to protect people from commiting the crime and school will be deteriorate into chaos if there was no punishment so students behave in a way that is conducive to a peaceful and functioning society. However, the effects of praising children is more. Students will not have stress so they act better within their classmattes and we will have a better student-teacher interactions. It's good to be mentioned that students won't act aggressively to their parents at home because of being punished. Consequently punishment can leads to the low-self esteem which have the unfavorable affect on them as well as they can have mentall problems while being praised always have great affect on their attitude.
Commencing with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
perform better at school if they are
being praised
for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the others claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
always has the great answer. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. Host of us are too well aware that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
times can be effective to protect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
Possible spelling mistake found.
commiting
the crime and school will be
Consider using the past participle "deteriorated"?
deteriorate
into chaos if there was no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
behave in a way
that is
conducive to a peaceful and functioning society.
However
, the effects of praising children is more.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
will not have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they act better within their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
classmattes and
we will have a better student-teacher interactions. It's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to
be mentioned
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
won't act
aggressively
to their parents at home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
being punished
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Consequently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "lead"
leads
to the low-self esteem which have the unfavorable
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on them
as well
as they can have
Possible spelling mistake found.
mentall
problems while
being praised
always have great
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on their attitude.

IELTS essay Being ponished or rewarded

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
168 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Being ponished or rewarded