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What will your friend like and not like when visiting your hometown? Use examples and reasons to develop your argument.

What will your friend like and not like when visiting your hometown? Use examples and reasons to develop your argument. 6xpe0
when my friend has visited my home town, he has had a mixed opinion because he likes a few things such as exotic costumes and traditional believes and he had a bad experience of traffic and pollution which I will explore in the following essay. First of all, the main asset of my home town Hyderabad, India is a unique dressing style; especially for ladies, they wear only sarees. Since sarees are designed with numerous colors, they are eye-catching. My friend came from a place where people don't wear sarees he has thrilled by seeing. For example, when he has reached my home, my mother wears a multi-colored saree which is made up of a thousand colors. That's a really nice memory for him because he never saw multiple colored saree before. On top of that, my grandmother explains the story behind a city and how the tradition developed in the Hyderabad and that is a great learning experience. On the other hand, although he has had a great experience, he doesn't like traffic and pollution. India is one of the largest country and people uses a variety of motor vehicles for their daily work as a result, it generates a lot of traffic and pollution. For instance, when I and my friend visit Charminar, he has really frustrated with traffic because although it takes only ten minutes to reach Charminar from my place because of the traffic it took two hours and he doesn't like waiting. In conclusion, although he has had a feeling of visiting a historical place, while he doesn't like few experiences create he has a varied opinion. Personally, I recommend my friends ready to face all the challenges when we visit a new place.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
when
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
has visited my home town, he has had a mixed opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he likes a few things such as exotic costumes and traditional
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
believes and
he had a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
experience of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and pollution which I will explore in the following essay.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the main asset of my home town Hyderabad, India is a unique dressing style;
especially
for ladies, they wear
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
sarees. Since sarees
are designed
with numerous colors, they are eye-catching. My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
came from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
don't wear sarees he has thrilled by seeing.
For example
, when he has reached my home, my mother wears a multi-colored saree which
is made
up of a thousand colors. That's a
really
nice memory for him
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
multiple colored saree
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
On top of that
, my grandmother
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
the story behind a city and how the tradition developed in the Hyderabad and
that is
a great learning experience.

On the other hand
, although he has had a great experience, he doesn't like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and pollution. India is one of the largest country and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
uses
a variety of motor vehicles for their daily work
as a result
, it generates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and pollution.
For instance
, when I and my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
visit
Possible spelling mistake found.
Charminar
, he has
really
frustrated with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
although it takes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
ten minutes to reach
Possible spelling mistake found.
Charminar
from my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
it took two
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
hours and
he doesn't like waiting.

In conclusion
, although he has had a feeling of visiting a historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
, while he doesn't like few experiences create he has a varied opinion.
Personally
, I recommend my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
ready to face all the challenges when we visit a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
.

IELTS essay What will your friend like and not like when visiting your hometown? Use examples and reasons to develop your argument.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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