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The reading passage claims that scholars are investigating a project sending humans to the mars as well as the moon.

The reading passage claims that scholars are investigating a project sending humans to the mars as well as the moon. e58YO
The reading passage claims that scholars are investigating a project sending humans to the mars as well as the moon. But it may create some problems owing to the fact that it is far away than the moon and the project might be impossible at this time. However, the lecturer finds all the ideas dubious and presents some evidence to refute them all. First, the author embraces the idea that mission to the mars will take two years and supply foods, water, and oxygen is a hard task to do in comparison with the moon mission. In contrast, the lecturer underlines the idea that astronauts can rely on hydroponics. In fact, they can grow some plants in water, which require less space. In this way, not only can they recycle wastewater and drink it but also can use from oxygen released by these plants. The author also asserts that astronauts on Mars are in the zero-gravity environment of space and it might create some deleterious effects on their bodies, muscle mass, and bone density. On the contrary, the professor brings up the idea that many astronauts spend more time on some space stations and they use several techniques to cope with this situation like regular exercises. Finally, as set forth by the author space radiations emitted by the sun also might have negative effects on astronauts because there is no magnetic shield to protect astronauts like the shield preserve people on the earth. Conversely, the speaker dismisses this issue due to the fact that these radiations are not dangerous all the time. In fact, they put people's health into danger occasionally. Also, space crafts could be equipped with special instruments. That being so, astronauts can stay in shielded areas in time where the radiations are severe.
The reading passage claims that scholars are investigating a project sending humans to the
The planet and the god are written with uppercase. 'mars' refers to the verb 'mar' meaning to spoil, or the plural of the noun 'mar' meaning blemishes.
mars
as well
as the moon.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it may create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems owing to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that it is far
Use "(away)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
away
than the moon and the project might be impossible at this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
However
, the lecturer finds all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
dubious and presents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
evidence to refute them all.

First
, the author embraces the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
that mission to the
The planet and the god are written with uppercase. 'mars' refers to the verb 'mar' meaning to spoil, or the plural of the noun 'mar' meaning blemishes.
mars
will take two years and supply foods, water, and oxygen is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
task to do
in comparison
with the moon mission.
In contrast
, the lecturer underlines the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
astronauts
can rely on hydroponics. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
, they can grow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
plants in water, which require less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
this way, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can they recycle wastewater and drink it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
from oxygen released by these plants.

The author
also
asserts that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
astronauts
on Mars are in the zero-gravity environment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
and it might create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
deleterious effects on their bodies, muscle mass, and bone density.
On the contrary
, the professor brings up the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
astronauts
spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
stations and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
several techniques to cope with this situation like regular exercises.

Finally
, as set forth by the author
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
radiations emitted by the sun
also
might have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
astronauts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is no magnetic shield to protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
astronauts
like the shield preserve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
on the earth.
Conversely
, the speaker dismisses this issue due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that these radiations are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
, they put
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's health into
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
occasionally
.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
crafts could
be equipped
with special instruments. That being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
astronauts
can stay in shielded areas in
It is better to use 'time' with the time-relative pronoun 'when': "time when". (Alternatively, use 'in/on which')
time where
the radiations are severe.

IELTS essay The reading passage claims that scholars are investigating a project sending humans to the mars as well as the moon.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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