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Famous people have no right privacy, what extend do you agree or disagree?

Famous people have no right privacy, what extend xgXlw
Incidents in which celebrities are attacked by media personals is increasing day by day. Some people consider famous people as a public domine and expected to reveal every aspect of their life to the public, however, they are also deserve equal right of privacy as common people. Devide between public and private life is essential for all people including public figures because without personal life nobody can function normaly in the society. This means that a lone time and a degree of unrevealed information is necessary for every human being. For example, high profile people like film actors and sports stars feel annoyed by the ever chasing tabloid media in oder to find the secrets in their personal life. Such attacks held back them to perform as well as to behave politely. Another reason is that, too much media coverage of personnel affair of famous personalities in a society may end up in publishing their confidential details to public, like address, phone numbers and even information regarding their loved ones. This cause remarkable decline of the security and they become highly vulnerable to the crimal attacks such as kidnapping for ramson or robbery
Incidents in which celebrities
are attacked
by media personals is increasing day by day.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
Possible spelling mistake found.
domine
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to reveal every aspect of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
,
however
, they are
also
Consider using a past participle here: "deserved".
deserve
equal right of privacy as common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Devide
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
and private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is essential for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
figures
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
without personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
nobody can function
Possible spelling mistake found.
normaly
in the society. This means that a lone time and a degree of unrevealed information is necessary for every human being.
For example
, high profile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like film actors and sports stars feel annoyed by the ever chasing tabloid media in
Possible spelling mistake found.
oder
to find the secrets in their personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Such attacks held back them to perform
as well
as to behave
politely
.

Another reason is that, too much media coverage of personnel affair of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
personalities in a society may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up in publishing their confidential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
, like address, phone numbers and even information regarding their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones. This cause remarkable decline of the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
security and
they become
highly
vulnerable to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
crimal
attacks such as kidnapping for
Possible spelling mistake found.
ramson
or
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
robbery
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IELTS essay Famous people have no right privacy, what extend

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
192 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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