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What kind of organisation would you like to work for? Why?

What kind of organisation would you like to work for? Why? 55xRA
In many parts of the world, human rights issues are becoming more and more alarming. Societies have been witnessing severe and blatant violations of the fundamental rights, such as human trafficking, gender inequality, LBGT+ ostracism, racism, refugee problems, slavery and humanitarian crises caused by climate change. Paradoxically, in many countries, these issues are not placed high on the agenda, turning into an abomination and the deterioration in quality-of-life. Meanwhile, the consciousness of human rights remains uneven around the world owing to political conflicts, conservatism, misorientation and ignorance. Therefore, to responsible and enthusiastic individuals, working for non-profit human rights organisations would be a proper action to take. Some renowned organisations in this field are Human Rights Watch, UNICEF, Freedom House, etc. Core value of these organisations briefly is making the best endeavour to heighten awareness of humanitarianism, prompt governments to perceive human rights issues as an urgency to negotiate and assist victims or affected people in their fight against injustice. Nowadays, it is clear that these organisations have been earning remarkable achievements and helping make the world a better place.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of the world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
issues are becoming more and more alarming. Societies have been witnessing severe and blatant violations of the fundamental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
, such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
trafficking, gender inequality,
Possible spelling mistake found.
LBGT
+ ostracism, racism, refugee problems, slavery and humanitarian crises caused by climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.
Paradoxically
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries, these issues are not placed high on the agenda, turning into an abomination and the deterioration in quality-of-life. Meanwhile, the consciousness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
remains uneven around the world owing to political conflicts, conservatism,
Possible spelling mistake found.
misorientation
and ignorance.
Therefore
, to responsible and enthusiastic individuals, working for non-profit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
would be a proper action to take.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
renowned
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
in this field are
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Human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Rights
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Watch
, UNICEF, Freedom
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
House
, etc. Core value of these
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
briefly
is making the best
Possible spelling mistake. 'endeavour' is British English.
endeavour
to heighten awareness of humanitarianism, prompt
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
to perceive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
issues as an urgency to negotiate and assist victims or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in their fight against injustice. Nowadays, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that these
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
have been earning remarkable achievements and helping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the world a better place.
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IELTS essay What kind of organisation would you like to work for? Why?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
179 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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