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the movement of people from village to city can cause serious problem at both places what are serious problem associated it with that what measures should be taken.

the movement of people from village to city can cause serious problem at both places what are serious problem associated it with that what measures should be taken. DVkJ7
No one can deny that day by dayhuman beings basic requirements are escalating as they all were living in materialistic world. to complete their demands many people migrate from town to situs. However it may lead to serious issue in cities before it rise some of the measures should be taken. In this essay some of the problems and measures to solve them will be discussed in upcoming paragraphs. to commence with majority of people move to global cities to get white collar jobs and on good salary as traps peoples many practiced only one occupation agriculture and they do not get enough output. Cities will become congested as population will increase their therefore this not only result in traffic but also in pollution. for example a survey was conducted by local municipalities to find out measure cause of road accident and it was founded due to large traffic each and every people mindset to reach fast at workplace but the neglect their driving speed and its sometime let their life in danger full stopped as prevention is better than cure government should provide some opportunities to village people of work to both educated as well as for uneducated according to their capability to fulfill their necessity. another problem population in villages mein starts decreasing and there will be only few people protecting agricultural land. It will cause shorter the food supply in our country. As farmer class will be no longer to cultivate the land. To eradicate this issue government should organisation committed to make farmers aware about crop rotation by different crops and one year they will get good profit. Beside this they should also provide bonus to farmers to maintain their expenses for agriculture. in nutshell, above discussed are main problems and they can be cure by taking some measures people will be no longer migrate if their needs are satisfied by their occupation and their own place.
No one can deny that day by
Possible spelling mistake found.
dayhuman
beings basic requirements are escalating as they all were living in materialistic world.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
complete their demands
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
migrate from town to
Possible spelling mistake found.
situs
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
it may lead to serious issue in cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it rise
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
should
be taken
. In this essay
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
problems and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
to solve them will
be discussed
in upcoming paragraphs.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
commence with
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to global cities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
white collar jobs and on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
salary as traps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
practiced
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one occupation
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
agriculture and
they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
output. Cities will become congested as population will increase their
therefore
this not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
result in traffic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
in pollution.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example a survey
was conducted
by local municipalities to find out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measure
cause of road accident and it
was founded
due to large traffic each and every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
mindset to reach
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
at workplace
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the neglect their driving speed and its sometime
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
their life in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
full
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
as prevention is better than cure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
opportunities to village
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of work to both educated
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
for uneducated according to their capability to fulfill their necessity.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
another
problem population in villages
Possible spelling mistake found.
mein
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
decreasing and there will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
protecting agricultural land. It will cause shorter the food supply in our country.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
farmer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
will be no longer to cultivate the land. To eradicate this issue
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
committed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
farmers aware about crop rotation by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
crops and one year they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
profit. Beside this they should
also
provide bonus to farmers to maintain their expenses for agriculture.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
nutshell, above discussed are main
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
problems and
they can be
Consider using a past participle here: "cured".
cure
by taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be no longer migrate if their needs
are satisfied
by their occupation and their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
place.
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IELTS essay the movement of people from village to city can cause serious problem at both places what are serious problem associated it with that what measures should be taken.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
321 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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