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Some people argue that their government should not partake in giving international aid to other countries if their own country is being plagued by problems such as unemployment and homelessness. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people argue that their government should not partake in giving international aid to other countries if their own country is being plagued by problems such as unemployment and homelessness. OlpGk
Government from developed and developing countries assist in the needs of other nations. While some people may think that it is better for their government to use their resources to their own people rather than contributing help to other countries I disagree otherwise. In this essay I will state the reason for my view. Firstly, for humanitarian reasons. As a human being it is in our innate nature to help others any time and any where in the world regardless of religion, race and status in life. If an individual can make a better world to live in what’s more if all nations can help together for a better future of the next generations. Another reason is to build a good relationship with other countries. This good relationship can produce advantage outcomes. For example, if the leaders of a certain country has a trusting connection to a few countries the entrepreneurs are convinced to invest in that country. This can help in the economic development of the nation. Unemployed people will have more opportunities. People with work can finally afford to rent a room or to construct a house. Lastly, to maintain peace and stability. Governments genuinely believe that if there is peace, people are happy. At the moment, most people are afraid and worried because of COVID-19 virus. In this situation that this virus is still active in many countries globally it is highly important for all nations to assist each other. Researches from all over the globe collected data and assessed thoroughly the virus characteristics which led to the discoveries of vaccines and other measures to protect everyone from the disease. By this, government from other countries openly shares their strategy to combat this illness. Countries that have more supply of vaccines donates to other nations that have lesser supply. If every countries will aid each other soon boarders will be open and people will again be happy travelling and living without worries.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
from developed and developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
assist in the needs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is better for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their resources to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
rather
than contributing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
I disagree
otherwise
. In this essay I will state the reason for my view.

Firstly
, for humanitarian reasons. As a human being it is in our innate nature to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
others any time and
Did you mean "anywhere"?
any where
in the world regardless of religion, race and status in life. If an individual can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a better world to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in what’s more if all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
together for a better future of the
next
generations.

Another reason is to build a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relationship with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relationship can produce advantage outcomes.
For example
, if the leaders of a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has a trusting connection to a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
the entrepreneurs
are convinced
to invest in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. This can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in the economic development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
. Unemployed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will have more opportunities.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
with work can
finally
afford to rent a room or to construct a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.

Lastly
, to maintain peace and stability.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
genuinely
believe that if there is peace,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are happy. At the moment, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are afraid and worried
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of COVID-19 virus. In this situation that this virus is
still
active in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
globally it is
highly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
to assist each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. Researches from all over the globe collected data and assessed
thoroughly
the virus characteristics which led to the discoveries of vaccines and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
measures to protect everyone from the disease. By this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
openly
shares their strategy to combat this illness.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Countries
that have more supply of vaccines donates to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
that have lesser supply. If every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "country"?
countries
Consider removing 'will'. (Usually, 'will' does not occur in a conditional clause, unless in the sense 'want to' or 'be willing to'.)
will aid
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
boarders will be open and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will again be happy travelling and living without worries.
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IELTS essay Some people argue that their government should not partake in giving international aid to other countries if their own country is being plagued by problems such as unemployment and homelessness.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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