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What goals do you have for yourself, including both personal and professionals goals?

What goals do you have for yourself, including both personal and professionals goals? VBYRK
Without an objective life is like a ship which roams around the ocean but never able to anchor to the coast. I have both personal and professional goals for myself. Personally, I would like to be a happy, healthy and inner peaceful individual. Moreover, professionally, I want to achieve the chief Information technology officer position in a multinational organization. Being happy in the most difficult situations is one of the most important parts of a human. Almost every one of us forgets that the future is unknown and the past cannot be changed and yet we mull over these and become anxious and depressed. Dr. Norman Vincent Peale wrote in his best selling book "The Power of Positive Thinking" that a positive mind in any situation can overcome the complexity of our living. However, it is a mountain task to be positive in every movement. To achieve this juggernaut task, people can have a gratitude journal, have daily positive affirmation, or can do meditation. Studies have shown that individuals who do daily meditation have more strength to avoid negative thoughts. It is almost obvious that to achieve the highest success a human people have to work hard as well as they need a calm mind. All the big bosses in the corporate world have these two things are common. For example, Jeff Bezos, he wakes up at 5am in the morning and the first thing he does is Gratitude and Meditation practice. Moreover, to achieve this I need to have a disciplined lifestyle and work smart in my area of expertise. I personally believe that every person can be successful if they have inner happiness. In conclusion, aims are essential parts of any living being and I want to have success in personal and professional life. As a person I want to grow happiness inside and in work I want to achieve the highest position in my area of expertise.
Without an objective life is like a ship which roams around the ocean
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
never able to anchor to the coast. I have both personal and professional goals for myself.
Personally
, I would like to be a happy, healthy and inner peaceful individual.
Moreover
,
professionally
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
the chief Information technology officer position in a multinational organization.

Being happy in the most difficult situations is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
parts of a human. Almost every one of us forgets that the future is unknown and the past cannot be
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
changed and
yet
we mull over these and become anxious and depressed. Dr. Norman Vincent Peale wrote in his
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
best selling
book
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
The Power of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Positive
Thinking
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
mind in any situation can overcome the complexity of our living.
However
, it is a mountain task to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
in every movement. To
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
this juggernaut task,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can have a gratitude journal, have daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
affirmation, or can do meditation. Studies have shown that individuals who do daily meditation have more strength to avoid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
thoughts.

It is almost obvious that to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
the highest success a human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
as well
as they need a calm mind. All the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
bosses in the corporate world have these two things are common.
For example
, Jeff Bezos, he wakes up at 5am in the morning and the
first
thing he does is Gratitude and Meditation practice.
Moreover
, to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
this I need to have a disciplined lifestyle and work smart in my area of expertise. I
personally
believe that every person can be successful if they have inner happiness.

In conclusion
, aims are essential parts of any living being and I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to have success in personal and professional life. As a person I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to grow happiness inside and in work I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
the highest position in my area of expertise.
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IELTS essay What goals do you have for yourself, including both personal and professionals goals?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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