Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

What causes teenagers to spend so much time on Instagram (or Tiktok) and what effect does Instagram (or Tiktok) have on teenagers’ mental health?

What causes teenagers to spend so much time on Instagram (or Tiktok) and what effect does Instagram (or Tiktok) have on teenagers’ mental health? nxAKo
There is no denying that teenagers all over the world spend most of their time on social media, especially Instagram. According to WVEA, American teens spend up to an average of nine hours on such platforms. This can lead to addiction and some detrimental effects. While many factors have contributed to it, the two main reasons may be due to the fear of missing out and lack of socialization. One of the most profound factors of adolescent overuse of social networks is the fear of missing out. They fear that if they do not go online frequently, they are likely to miss out on major events and cannot catch up with the ongoing trends. Thus, they feel left out of their peers’ conversation involving such news and become a loner. So, teenagers glue to Instagram all day to keep themselves up-to-date with the world outside. Though, this can be a double-edged sword to them as false information is frequently spread on social media platforms. Such inaccurate information is deemed to have a negative effect on their mindset resulting in pessimistic thoughts and emotions such as depression, anxiety, and more. Furthermore, if teenagers keep on getting news from networks without paying attention to their surroundings, their relationship with their family might fall, which then leads to mental illness. Another reason for such behaviour is lack of socialization. There is a good portion of teenagers who find it hard to fit in at school and use social media platforms as tools to make friends. Their online presence can be far different from how they are usually seen in real life. For instance, while a teenager might come off as shy and timid in her class, on Instagram, she is a lot bolder with her words. Some adolescents may even turn to social media because they feel isolated from the world. Instagram might be able to comfort them but as they continue using it as an escape from reality, their problems can never be solved. What is more, they can get worse through time and eventually lead to serious mental disorders including depression and autism. In conclusion, the fear of missing out and social necessity have greatly contributed to adolescent overuse of social media such as Instagram, and such pattern of behaviour can lead to some detrimental effects on teenagers.
There is no denying that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
all over the world spend most of their time on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
,
especially
Instagram. According to
Possible spelling mistake found.
WVEA
, American teens spend up to an average of nine hours on such platforms. This can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
to addiction and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
detrimental effects. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors have contributed to it, the two main reasons may be due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fear
of missing out and lack of socialization.

One of the most profound factors of adolescent overuse of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networks is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fear
of missing out. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fear
that if they do not go online
frequently
, they are likely to miss out on major
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and cannot catch up with the ongoing trends.
Thus
, they feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
out of their peers’ conversation involving such news and become a loner.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
glue to Instagram all day to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
themselves up-to-date with the world outside. Though, this can be a double-edged sword to them as false information is
frequently
spread on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
platforms. Such inaccurate information
is deemed
to have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on their mindset resulting in pessimistic thoughts and emotions such as depression, anxiety, and more.
Furthermore
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
on getting news from networks without paying attention to their surroundings, their relationship with their family might fall, which then leads to mental illness.

Another reason for such
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
is lack of socialization. There is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
portion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
who find it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to fit in at school and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
platforms as tools to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends. Their online presence can be far
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from how they are
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in real life.
For instance
, while a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenager
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
off as shy and timid in her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, on Instagram, she is a lot bolder with her words.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
adolescents may even turn to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they feel isolated from the world. Instagram might be able to comfort them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
as they continue using it as an escape from reality, their problems can never
be solved
.
What is more
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
worse through time and
eventually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
to serious mental disorders including depression and autism.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fear
of missing out and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
necessity have
greatly
contributed to adolescent overuse of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
such as Instagram, and such pattern of
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
detrimental effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay What causes teenagers to spend so much time on Instagram (or Tiktok) and what effect does Instagram (or Tiktok) have on teenagers’ mental health?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
387 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • What causes teenagers to spend so much time on Instagram (or Tiktok) and what effect does Instagram (or Tiktok) have on teenagers’ mental health?