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What do you think are the causes of these problems and what can be done about it?

What do you think are the causes of these problems and what can be done about it? EqQGL
For most, maintaining near-perfect physical health throughout their life would be a huge accomplishment. However, nowadays, more and more cases of obesity-related health issues are emerging. What exactly leads individuals to this extent and more importantly what can be done to help the situation? To begin with, when investigating the causes of this problem, one must look no further than technological advancements. It's no secret that life today is a lot easier than it was 100 years ago. This is thanks to all the enhanced devices, vehicles, and equipment that we have at our disposal today. In the past, there was no such thing as a smartphone or the Internet. Thus, in order to get through with the day and get work done, people actually had to put in the effort and get out of their homes. In the modern era, however, one can easily work, communicate and have everything delivered to him with a press of a button. Therefore, this convenient way of living has led to weight gain as people are getting less exercise naturally and a sedentary lifestyle has been normalized. Technological evolution won't stop and many more aspects and elements of our lives are to become digitalized. Hence, people ought to realize the damage they're doing to themselves by implementing a sedentary lifestyle. Perhaps, the most viable solution is proper education about the matter. Schools and other educational systems should make youngsters understand all the implications associated with obesity. This can be achieved by adding extra hours of physical education into the weekly curriculum and also by encouraging students to participate in numerous extracurricular activities. Hence, when a person is taught to take care of his body and his fitness level, he's unlikely to become a couch potato. Taking everything into consideration, it is evident that the way we live our lives today is to be held accountable for the growing obesity rates and the decline in average fitness levels. The world is only going to get more advanced, making our lives even more comfortable and easy. Therefore, educational systems and teachers ought to emphasize the importance of staying active and warn students about the dangers of a sedentary lifestyle.
For most, maintaining near-perfect physical health throughout their life would be a huge accomplishment.
However
, nowadays, more and more cases of obesity-related health issues are emerging. What exactly leads individuals to this extent and more
importantly
what can
be done
to
help
the situation?

To
begin
with, when investigating the causes of this problem, one
must
look no
further
than technological advancements. It's no secret that life
today
is a lot easier than it was 100 years ago. This is thanks to all the enhanced devices, vehicles, and equipment that we have at our disposal
today
. In the past, there was no such thing as a smartphone or the Internet.
Thus
, in order to
get
through with the day and
get
work done,
people
actually had to put in the effort and
get
out of their homes. In the modern era,
however
, one can
easily
work, communicate and have everything delivered to him with a press of a button.
Therefore
, this convenient way of living has led to weight gain as
people
are getting less exercise
naturally
and a sedentary lifestyle has
been normalized
.

Technological evolution won't
stop
and
many
more aspects and elements of our
lives
are to become digitalized.
Hence
,
people
ought to realize the damage they're doing to themselves by implementing a sedentary lifestyle. Perhaps, the most viable solution is proper education about the matter. Schools and other educational systems should
make
youngsters understand all the implications associated with obesity. This can
be achieved
by adding extra hours of physical education into the weekly curriculum and
also
by encouraging students to participate in numerous extracurricular activities.
Hence
, when a person
is taught
to take care of his body and his fitness level, he's unlikely to become a couch potato.

Taking everything into consideration, it is evident that the way we
live
our
lives
today
is to
be held
accountable for the growing obesity rates and the decline in average fitness levels. The world is
only
going to
get
more advanced, making our
lives
even more comfortable and easy.
Therefore
, educational systems and teachers ought to emphasize the importance of staying active and warn students about the
dangers
of a sedentary lifestyle.
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IELTS essay What do you think are the causes of these problems and what can be done about it?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
364 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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