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What are your views on gender equality? Do you think gender bias still exists in the society.

What are your views on gender equality? Do you think gender bias still exists in the society. JoYXk
It is irrefutable to say that however modern, educated we call our self gender inequality prevails one way or the other even in the modern society. Despite of having huge gender gap in the past, societies have transformed and are more liberal towards women than ever in the history. This essay will discuss both the views and deduce a reasonable conclusion. To begin with, inequality prevailed in different forms as the history shows society as misogynistic and women were always dominated by the men. Furthermore, women were not allowed to vote, educate or even give their opinion and were treated as objects and were confined in house hold activities. For instance, if we look at the history we find very less women in the topnotch position in offices. Lack of education and confined in household activities hindered them from growing professionally, so were limited to houses. On the contrary, the situation is not same anymore changed and we see women at workplaces, ruling countries; moreover, almost equally as men. For instance, the queen of Britain has been in the throne from around 80 years which is achievement in itself. Education plays vital role for the change and myriad nationals and international organizations are working toward women empowerment. And the women literacy rate has burgeoned significantly over the past decade which is a small step toward reducing gender inequality. To recapitulate, the world has become more accepting in ways but things like equal pay at work, bias in working situations still prevails in the society. As the society is built misogynist and full of male chauvinist, so educating both male and female is utmost priority to reduce gender inequality.
It is irrefutable to say that
however
modern, educated we call our self gender inequality prevails one way or the other even in the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Did you mean "Despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
Despite of
having huge gender gap in the past,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
have transformed and are more liberal towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
than ever in the history. This essay will discuss both the views and deduce a reasonable conclusion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, inequality prevailed in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
forms as the history
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
as misogynistic and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
were always dominated by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
were not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to vote, educate or even give their opinion and
were treated
as objects and
were confined
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
hold activities.
For instance
, if we look at the history we find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun women is countable.
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in the topnotch position in offices. Lack of education and confined in household activities hindered them from growing
professionally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
were limited
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
.

On the contrary
, the situation is not same anymore
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
changed and
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
at workplaces, ruling countries;
moreover
, almost
Use either "equally" or "as" on its own. When comparing two nouns, use "just as".
equally as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.
For instance
, the queen of Britain has been in the throne from around 80 years which is achievement in itself. Education plays vital role for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
and myriad nationals and international organizations are working toward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
empowerment. And the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
literacy rate has burgeoned
significantly
over the past decade which is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
step toward reducing gender inequality.

To recapitulate, the world has become more accepting in ways
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
things like equal pay at work, bias in working situations
still
prevails in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. As the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is built
misogynist and full of male chauvinist,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
educating both male and female is utmost priority to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
gender inequality.
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IELTS essay What are your views on gender equality? Do you think gender bias still exists in the society.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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