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What are the purposes of places such as museums and how should they be funded?

What are the purposes of places such as museums and how should they be funded? KwlML
Places such as museums play an irreplaceable role in modern lives. This essay will outline the main functions of them and suggest some possible ways in which they could be funded. Public museums are institutions that collect and safeguard historical or artistic objects and works and make artifacts and specimens accessible, which they hold in trust for society. In a way, they are the source of history and offer an insight into the life before. So the significance of them also lies in their roles as a national memory bank. =Public museums are institutions that collect and preserve historical objects or artistic works. In a way, they are the source of history and offer a significant way to study the past. So the role of museums cannot be replaced in this case. High importance is also placed on the role of museums in providing an ideal learning environment, enabling children and adults to enter world that they may otherwise never get to know. Now, many museums set aside study days to allow more intensive exploration of the cultural background of an exhibition or area of the collections. With the rise of technology, public museums are able to provide the mass with interactive education on the spot. Visitors can experience hundreds of exhibits and investigate them further using scientific tools and instruments that are provided to encourage visitors to make observations, look for relationships and draw their own conclusions. On a more materialistic level, museums contribute significantly to the country’s revenue, as they are sources of tourist attraction. Many famous national or public museums bring in visitors from all over the world, which generates flourishing profits for the hotel, food and retail industries. Therefore, I think museums should be mainly funded by the government. In this case, free entry can attract more people to come to visit them so as to fulfill their roles as public assets to a larger extent.
Places such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
play an irreplaceable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
in modern
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. This essay will outline the main functions of them and suggest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possible ways in which they could
be funded
.

Public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
are institutions that collect and safeguard historical or artistic objects and works and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
artifacts and specimens accessible, which they hold in trust for society. In a way, they are the source of history and offer an insight into the life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the significance of them
also
lies in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roles
as a national memory bank.

=Public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
are institutions that collect and preserve historical objects or artistic works. In a way, they are the source of history and offer a significant way to study the past.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
cannot
be replaced
in this case
.

High importance is
also
placed on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
in providing an ideal learning environment, enabling children and adults to enter world that they may
otherwise
never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
set aside study days to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
more intensive exploration of the cultural background of an exhibition or area of the collections. With the rise of technology, public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
are able to provide the mass with interactive education on the spot. Visitors can experience hundreds of exhibits and investigate them
further
using scientific tools and instruments that
are provided
to encourage visitors to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
observations, look for relationships and draw their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
conclusions.

On a more materialistic level,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
contribute
significantly
to the country’s revenue, as they are sources of tourist attraction.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
national or public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
bring in visitors from all over the world, which generates flourishing profits for the hotel, food and retail industries.
Therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
should be
mainly
funded by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
In this case
, free entry can attract more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to visit them
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
fulfill their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roles
as public assets to a larger extent.
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IELTS essay What are the purposes of places such as museums and how should they be funded?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
320 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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