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“What are the advantages to a country of having a younger population? Are there any disadvantages?”

“What are the advantages to a country of having a younger population? Are there any disadvantages? ” JYqQD
The young population is regarded as an absolute priority for the future development of many countries. However, many people belivie that they will cause negative impacts to society and bring drawbacks to the future of the entire country. This essay will discuss the benefits and harms that the young population brings to the nation. Firstly, it is easy to recognize that the youth are so creative especially in the high-tech world, they have a variety of ideas and a big mindset which help them generate helpful ideas to contribute a lot for society. For example, we can see numerous adolescents are fighting for equal rights, climate change, and protecting endangered animals by using their voice and action. Furthermore, because of social media some teenagers become a new symbol who inspires a lot for others, not only young but also adults, to overcome their fear and be themselves. This is one of many great things that show what the young generation can do to help their country. Secondly, as they are young, we have more passion, more confidence, enthusiasm, and give their best for what they do. Moreover, they have great potential to adopt new technologies which allow them to be more productive in their daily tasks In contrast to this, everything has two sides, younger people rely too much on technologies which make them live a closed life. Also, according to a survey, this is the generation most vulnerable to mental health diseases, especially stress. As a result of this work efficiency rapidly decreases which leads to downgrading the economy of the country. To sum up everything that I have started before, young population have great potential to develop as well as they inherited a lot experience from old generation which make them discover more and contribute a lot to society although there are many problem involving
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
population
is regarded
as an absolute priority for the future development of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
belivie
that they will cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts to society and bring drawbacks to the future of the entire country. This essay will discuss the benefits and harms that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
population brings to the nation.

Firstly
, it is easy to recognize that the youth are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
creative
especially
in the high-tech world, they have a variety of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
mindset which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them generate helpful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
to contribute a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
for society.
For example
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
numerous adolescents are fighting for equal rights, climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
, and protecting endangered animals by using their voice and action.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of social media
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
become a new symbol who inspires a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
for others, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
adults, to overcome their fear and be themselves. This is one of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
great things that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
what the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation can do to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their country.
Secondly
, as they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
, we have more passion, more confidence, enthusiasm, and give their best for what they do.
Moreover
, they have great potential to adopt new technologies which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to be more productive in their daily tasks

In contrast
to this, everything has two sides, younger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
rely too much on technologies which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a closed life.
Also
, according to a survey, this is the generation most vulnerable to mental health diseases,
especially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a result of this work efficiency
rapidly
decreases which leads to downgrading the economy of the country.

To sum up everything that I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
population have great potential to develop
as well
as they inherited a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
experience from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
generation which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them discover more and contribute a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
to society although there are
Possible agreement error. The noun problem seems to be countable; consider using: "many problems".
many problem
involving
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IELTS essay “What are the advantages to a country of having a younger population? Are there any disadvantages? ”

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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