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WHAT ARE THE ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES FOR CHILDREN OF WATCHING TELEVISION?

WHAT ARE THE ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES FOR CHILDREN OF WATCHING TELEVISION? m89Md
Nowadays, children watching television are no longer too strange to us. Many people believe that watching TV for a long time will harmful to eyes a lot, so the adult keep their children from watch TV too much. However, everything has two sides. In this essay, i will discuss the advantages it brings to them and the disadvantages of this. Let’s begin by looking at the advantages for children of watching television. It is true that children may know many things from TV. Like they can watch programs about animals, then they know what does a cock look like or what does a fish look like. This help children have first sense of the world outside. In addition, television also help them entertain very effectively. For example, if they feel boring or sad, they can turn on TV and watch cartoons, some movie for children. All these programs are in English have sub title or voice-over. Anyway, children can contact with English earlier and they may study better in the future. Turning to the other side of this issue, of course watch TV too much is harmful to health, everybody know. First, it make children’s eyes get dry and tired quickly, if you don’t take your child to the doctor promptly, they will get myopic later time and that will affect their life very much. Besides being harmful to their eyes, their mental health also affected. If you let them watch many hours in each times, later they will shy to communicate with everyone, don’t want to go outside, like to do everything alone. This disease very hard to cure, you will take a lot of time for this. In short, watch TV may good, but you have control the amount of time your child can watch TV to protect their health better. I hope these information will helpful to the parents, adults to take care their children.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
watching television are no longer
For negated sentences, use "either" instead of 'too'.
too
strange to us.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that watching TV for a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
will harmful to eyes a lot,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the adult
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
TV too much.
However
, everything has two sides. In this essay,
Did you mean "I"?
i
will discuss the advantages it brings to them and the disadvantages of this.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
by looking at the advantages for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
of watching television. It is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things from TV. Like they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
programs about animals, then they know what does a cock look like or what does a fish look like. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have
first
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "sensed".
sense
of the world outside.

In addition
, television
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them entertain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
effectively
.
For example
, if they feel boring or sad, they can turn on TV and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
cartoons,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
movie for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. All these programs are in English have sub title or voice-over. Anyway,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can contact with English
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
earlier and
they may study better in the future.

Turning to the other side of this issue,
of course
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
TV too much is harmful to health, everybody
The pronoun 'everybody' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "knows", "knew".
know
.
First
, it
Did you mean "makes"?
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
eyes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
dry and tired
quickly
, if you don’t take your child to the doctor
promptly
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
myopic later
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and that will affect their
Did you mean "lives"?
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much.

Besides
being harmful to their eyes, their mental health
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
. If you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
hours in each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "time"?
times
, later they will shy to communicate with everyone, don’t want to go outside, like to do everything alone. This disease
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to cure, you will take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for this.

In short,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
TV may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
you have control the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
your child can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
TV to protect their health better. I hope
Did you mean "this information" or "these informations"?
these information
will helpful to the parents, adults to take care their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
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IELTS essay WHAT ARE THE ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES FOR CHILDREN OF WATCHING TELEVISION?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
318 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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