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What are some ways to reduce the risk of getting Covid-19?

What are some ways to reduce the risk of getting Covid-19? Bgn3V
Our world has to face the pandemic of coronavirus disease, which causes more and more deaths. It forces people to take actions to decrease the risk of getting Covid-19. The first way is lockdown extension. Our government tightens up social distancing in specific areas because most cases are from community transfer. We cannot be allowed to go out for unwarranted reasons. When the directive is issued, the stores that sell essential things can be opened, but other services are locked. Schools are closed, and students have to shift to online learning. Citizens must follow the stay-at-home order to slow the spread of the virus. The second method is a healthy lifestyle. We should follow the 5K message that has been announced by the Ministry of Health. People get used to living more safely when maintaining these rules such as face-mask, disinfection, distance, no gathering and health declaration. Moreover, we need to do physical training and proper nutrition to increase the body’s resistance. This one is the easiest way to prevent ourselves from infection. The last measure is widespread vaccination. Inoculation can lessen the impact of the pandemic, but a small percentage of the population has been fully vaccinated. It is thought that Chinese vaccines are less effective than others. When people are caught up in that wave, many doctors advise us not to miss any opportunity to be vaccinated and the mortality rate of inoculated people is very low. Afterwards, it helps us build a community immunity system. In conclusion, when everyone unites and takes these measures, our country can overcome the Covid-19 pandemic. The “new normal” life will be the same as our wonderful old days.
Our world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
face the pandemic of coronavirus disease, which causes more and more deaths. It forces
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to take actions to decrease the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of getting Covid-19.

The
first
way is lockdown extension. Our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
tightens up social distancing in specific areas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most cases are from community transfer. We cannot be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to go out for unwarranted reasons. When the directive
is issued
, the stores that sell essential things can
be opened
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
other services
are locked
. Schools
are closed
, and students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
shift to online learning. Citizens
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
follow the stay-at-home order to slow the spread of the virus.

The second method is a healthy lifestyle. We should follow the 5K message that has
been announced
by the Ministry of Health.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to living more
safely
when maintaining these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
such as face-mask, disinfection, distance, no gathering and health declaration.
Moreover
, we need to do physical training and proper nutrition to increase the body’s resistance. This one is the easiest way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
ourselves from infection.

The last measure is widespread vaccination. Inoculation can lessen the impact of the pandemic,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
percentage of the population has been
fully
vaccinated. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that Chinese vaccines are less effective than others. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are caught
up in that wave,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
doctors advise us not to miss any opportunity to
be vaccinated
and the mortality rate of inoculated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low. Afterwards, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us build a community immunity system.

In conclusion
, when everyone unites and takes these measures, our country can overcome the Covid-19 pandemic. The “new normal” life will be the same as our wonderful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
days.
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IELTS essay What are some ways to reduce the risk of getting Covid-19?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
277 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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