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What are some reasons that people work?

What are some reasons that people work? kYjXn
From the first time that existence of human beings recorded, every individual does something in order to stay alive. As times past, the form of this activity revolves until our era that we call this activity work. Our ancestors hunt animals to get their basic needs, we put our step forward to provide our basic need and also satisfy our-self. In the first place, people do work to buy food and cloth or paying their bills. Since the inability to provide such things will result in a low performance in society. To elaborate more on the consequence of unemployment, imagine what will happen if you couldn't buy something to eat or rent somewhere to live. So, it is crucial in the current human ecosystem to have a job, because the other option is to hunt and live in jungles or deserts which is impossible. People also work to satisfy themselves. Working provides an inner satisfaction for the people to think that they are useful and productive. Famous and reach people who still work bolster the idea that people do not work only to have an income. Take for example, Bill Gates or Steve jobs who work also they had enough money to spend for their entire life. This examples again shows that we need to work because it is more than a simple way of having income. To conclude, people working attitude has two layer first layer is essential that refers to our basic need and the other refers to our soul.
From the
first
time that existence of human beings recorded, every individual does something in order to stay alive. As times past, the form of this activity revolves until our era that we call this activity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. Our ancestors hunt animals to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
, we put our step forward to provide our basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
and
also
satisfy our-self.

In the
first
place,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
food and cloth or paying their bills.
“Since” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since
the inability to provide such things will result in a low performance in society. To elaborate more on the consequence of unemployment, imagine what will happen if you couldn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
something to eat or rent somewhere to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is crucial in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
human ecosystem to have a job,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the other option is to hunt and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in jungles or deserts which is impossible.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to satisfy themselves. Working provides an inner satisfaction for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they are useful and productive.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Famous
and reach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
still
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
bolster the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to have an income. Take
for example
, Bill Gates or
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Steve jobs
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
also
they had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to spend for their entire life. This examples again
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is more than a simple way of having income.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
working attitude has two layer
first
layer is essential that refers to our basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
and the other refers to our soul.
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IELTS essay What are some reasons that people work?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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