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Parents must use strict rules if they want their children to be successful.

Parents must use strict rules if they want their children to be successful. GMWpQ
Parents always have anticipations on their own children. Because the love for their children, they want them to be good and happy. However, sometimes they want to be proud of their children so much that they train and challenge their children strictly. In my opinion, parents don’t have to set strict rules in order to let their children be successful. Whether a person is successful or not should never comes from others’ perspective. It is because parents want their children to be what they think to be so that they set many rules for them to follow. For example, Taiwanese parents would punish their children because they could not be the student that gets the highest grade of tests. But getting high grades is not necessarily related to being successful in the future. True success should be judge only by oneself, not by others. Some parents would claim that they are setting the rules for their children’s own good. Children should do well on tests, come home early and play sports. They should do exactly what their parents tell them because their parents would never harm them. Nevertheless, when parents are setting those rules, they just do not realize that their children may have different attitudes and interests from themselves. In my opinion, setting strict rules often would kill children’s independence on thinking. And this independence act like a crucial key to success more than those rules using by their parents. The world is always changing. Instead of cultivating a child that would obey the rules, I would rather let my child set his or her own rules. As long as my children can keep their promise and follow what they believe, I would be appreciated. Moreover, the world we are living in now is so sophisticated that no one knows what would happen in the next second. Therefore, children need to learn to adapt to various situations. Owing to this, thinking out side the box and be creative sometime will definitely help children reach success more than just follow the rules. It is now obvious that why parents should not set strict rules for their children to follow. To make a conclusion, successful depends on one’s independence and creativity rather than obeying the rules.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
always have anticipations on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, they want them to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and happy.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they want to be proud of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much that they train and challenge their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
strictly
. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
don’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
set strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
be successful.

Whether a person is successful or not should never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from others’ perspective. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
want their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to be what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they set
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
for them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
.
For example
, Taiwanese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
would punish their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they could not be the student that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
the highest grade of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
getting high grades is not
necessarily
related to being successful in the future. True success should be
Did you mean "judged"?
judge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by oneself, not by others.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
would claim that they are setting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
should do well on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
home early and play sports. They should do exactly what their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
would never harm them.
Nevertheless
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are setting those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
do not realize that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
attitudes and interests from themselves.

In my opinion, setting strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
The adverb 'often' is usually put between 'would' and 'kill'.
often would kill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
independence on thinking. And this independence act like a crucial key to success more than those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
using by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. The world is always changing.
Instead
of cultivating a child that would obey the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
, I would
rather
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
my child set
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
. As long as my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their promise and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
what they believe, I would
be appreciated
.

Moreover
, the world we are living in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
sophisticated that no one knows what would happen in the
next
second.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
need to learn to adapt to various situations. Owing to this, thinking
Did you mean "outside"?
out side
the box and be creative sometime will definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
reach success more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
obvious that why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should not set strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a conclusion, successful depends on one’s independence and creativity
rather
than obeying the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
.
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IELTS essay Parents must use strict rules if they want their children to be successful.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
375 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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