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Childhood obesity, a typical sign of deteriorating public health has recently became a major concern. Regarding to this, some have a belief that governments should take specific actions in order to improve its. However, I advocate the view that governments should not be the only one that takes responsibility for combat the childhood obesity crisis

Childhood obesity, a typical sign of deteriorating public health has recently became a major concern. Regarding to this, some have a belief that governments should take specific actions in order to improve its. However, I advocate the view that governments should not be the only one that takes responsibility for combat the childhood obesity crisis pRe3L
Childhood obesity, a typical sign of deteriorating public health has recently became a major concern. Regarding to this, some have a belief that governments should take specific actions in order to improve its. However, I advocate the view that governments should not be the only one that takes responsibility for combat the childhood obesity crisis
Childhood obesity, a typical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
of deteriorating public health has recently
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "become".
became
a major concern.
The phrase 'Regarding to' is not correct. Use "Regarding" or "regard to".
Regarding to
this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
have a belief that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should take specific actions in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
its.
However
, I advocate the view that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should not be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one that takes responsibility for combat the childhood obesity crisis

IELTS essay Childhood obesity, a typical sign of deteriorating public health has recently became a major concern. Regarding to this, some have a belief that governments should take specific actions in order to improve its. However, I advocate the view that governments should not be the only one that takes responsibility for combat the childhood obesity crisis

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
54 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Childhood obesity, a typical sign of deteriorating public health has recently became a major concern. Regarding to this, some have a belief that governments should take specific actions in order to improve its. However, I advocate the view that governments should not be the only one that takes responsibility for combat the childhood obesity crisis