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Wealth and material belongings often measure the success that a person has. Do you think wealth is the best measure of success? What makes a successful person?

Money are important part of human`s life. Often, amount of money, wealth appears success of a person. I consider that material belongings are one of the things that shows person`s success. People often associate wealth with happy life. Certainly, money can buy power, fame, time, and sometimes even life. Due to money, people can have new opportunities, like having fun with friends, travel; get a good education abroad, etc. Wealth is one of the best measures of success, because all people who work hard and do all things to achieve their goals, at the end get an new experience and amount of money. Nevertheless, not only wealth can measure success, even if money have a predominant place in people`s life, the majority of humans cannot live without family, friends and happiness. Material belongings can buy marvelous moments, but it cannot give a guarantee to happy life for person. All citizens of the world thinking about success and how to reach it, but not everyone represent what it means. However, many actions makes people feel successful, every human have their own definition of success, for instance: students of the school consider that success is to pass exams and go to prestige University, while for people who graduated from University success is to find marvelous job. Humans feel successful based on their own purposes and mind, therefore, in real life there are no precise actions, which person need to follow to reach success. In conclusion, all people have their own performance about success and how wealth connected with success.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "is".
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of
The character between 'human' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "human’s" (curly apostrophe) or "human's" (straight apostrophe).
human`s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Often
, amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
appears
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
of a person. I consider that material belongings are one of the things that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
The character between 'person' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "person’s" (curly apostrophe) or "person's" (straight apostrophe).
person`s
success.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
associate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
with happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Certainly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
power, fame, time, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can have new opportunities, like having fun with friends, travel;
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
education abroad, etc.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Wealth
is one of the best measures of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and do all things to achieve their goals, at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
new experience and amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Nevertheless
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
can measure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
, even if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
have a predominant place in
The character between 'people' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "people’s" (curly apostrophe) or "people's" (straight apostrophe).
people`s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
without family, friends and happiness. Material belongings can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
marvelous moments,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it cannot give a guarantee to happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
for person.

All citizens of the world thinking about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
and how to reach it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "represents", "represented".
represent
what it means.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
actions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel successful, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
definition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
,
for instance
: students of the school consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
is to pass exams and go to prestige University, while for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who graduated from University
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
is to find marvelous job.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Humans
feel successful based on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
purposes and mind,
therefore
, in real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
there are no precise actions, which person need to follow to reach success.

In conclusion
, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
performance about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
and how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
connected with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
.
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IELTS essay Wealth and material belongings often measure the success that a person has. Do you think wealth is the best measure of success? What makes a successful person?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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