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We should pay attention to the opinions of famous people

We should pay attention to the opinions of famous people oR1VD
Famous people are ordinary like someone else. Their ideas are different from others for sure. However, to say that their ideas are better or we should follow them is not a good deal. They are good for them. It is wrong to agree that since such ideas are good for famous, they will be good and useful for us. Maybe one may have a life pretty similar with famous people. One may observe their ideas but does not necessarily follow them. In the beginning such ideas may be related but in the end they do not match. Therefore, following his own ideas may be better for him. Furthermore, famous can make mistakes. Sometimes they are likely wrong about another person. For instance, once I have watched a video about a magician. It was said that he was able to gnarl knifes. During the show, there was just one camera aiming at him. Those famous said that what they had been watching was true and everybody should believe in that. It is hard to believe that the magician was capable to gnarl such knife because we all know that such event is not possible. That was just a magic, nothing else. Moreover, if one person has not enough knowledge to follow his own ideas, he had better follow his friends’ ideas. A friend’s idea may be much better than anybody else. For instance, if we notice a very young famous person, we might say that he does not have a good opinion about a specific subject. Thus, he ought to follow a friend’s opinion so that he can understand the subject and formulates his own opinion. Finally, when we are observing the opinion of a famous person, there is likely to catch some mistakes that the person may make. Because we are all ordinary people, each of us should pursue our own ideas.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Famous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are ordinary like someone else. Their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from others for sure.
However
, to say that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
are
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
better or
we should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
them is not a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
deal. They are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
for them. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that since such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
, they will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
and useful for us. Maybe one may have a life pretty similar with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. One may observe their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
does not
necessarily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
them. In the beginning such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
may
be related
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
they do not match.
Therefore
, following his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
may be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
for him.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
mistakes.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
they are likely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
about another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
.
For instance
, once I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
a video about a magician. It
was said
that he was able to gnarl knifes. During the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
, there was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one camera aiming at him. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
said that what they had been watching was true and everybody should believe in that. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to believe that the magician was capable to gnarl such knife
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we all know that such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
is not possible. That was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a magic, nothing else.

Moreover
, if one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
has not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
knowledge to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
, he had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
his friends’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
. A friend’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
may be much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
than anybody else.
For instance
, if we notice a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
, we might say that he does not have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
opinion about a specific subject.
Thus
, he ought to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
a friend’s opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that he can understand the subject and formulates his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion.

Finally
, when we are observing the opinion of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
, there is likely to catch
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mistakes that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
we are all ordinary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, each of us should pursue our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
.
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IELTS essay We should pay attention to the opinions of famous people

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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