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Recent figures show an increase in violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18. Some psychologists claim that the basic reason for this is that children these days are not getting the social and emotional learning they need from parents and teachers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Recent figures show an increase in violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18. Some psychologists claim that the basic reason for this is that children these days are not getting the social and emotional learning they need from parents and teachers. Wklk
It appears that the youth crime rate in the modern world is increasing considerably. It is considered by many psychologists that lack of emotional and social care from parents and teachers is the primary reason behind this. I agree with this statement to a large degree. However, social medias and negative peer pressure can also be the cause. Firstly, nowadays parents are being very busy in their occupational commitments and they totally forget to give time to their kids. Due to the lack of education and teachings from the parents, children become unsocial and they lack moral qualities. Parents spend most of their time at work for the betterment of their family and kids but it results in less interaction between them and their kids which further restricts children from learning basic emotional aspects like love and affection. for example, my cousin doesn't know how to talk to strangers and elderly people because he barely gets chance to talk and have a conversation with his parents. This might lead him having behavioural problems in future. on the other hand, Different social medias and negative peer pressure is also one of the cause to increase violent crimes among youths. In other words, nowadays majority of youths use social media and there are plenty of negative contents available in social medias along with the possitive ones. The negative contents can easily inspire youngers to commit crimes. Negative peer pressure can also influence youngsters to commit crimes as due to the influence of negative pressure people involve in various inhumane crimes like sexual abuse, murders and many more. for instance, a friend of mine got influenced by his negative circle and commited a murder which resulted life long imprisonment. In conclusion, Although there may be various reasons like social medias and negative peer pressure which make youngsters fall in crime but lack of solid and ethical care of parents is the primary reason behind the increase of youth crime rate.
It appears that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate in the modern world is increasing
considerably
. It
is considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
psychologists that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of emotional and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
care from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and teachers is the primary reason behind this. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement to a large degree.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medias
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
can
also
be the cause.
Firstly
, nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
busy in their occupational
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
commitments and
they
totally
forget to give time to their kids. Due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of education and teachings from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, children become
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
unsocial and
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
moral qualities.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
spend most of their time at work for the betterment of their family and kids
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it results in less interaction between them and their kids which
further
restricts children from learning basic emotional aspects like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and affection.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example, my cousin doesn't know how to talk to strangers and elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he
barely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
chance to talk and have a conversation with his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. This might lead him having
Possible spelling mistake. 'behavioural' is British English.
behavioural
problems
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
the other hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medias
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
is
also
one of the cause to increase violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
among youths.
In other words
, nowadays
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
youths
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
contents available in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medias
along with the
Possible spelling mistake found.
possitive
ones. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
contents can
easily
inspire
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngers
to commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
can
also
influence youngsters to commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
as due to the influence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
involve in various inhumane
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
like sexual abuse, murders and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
instance, a friend of mine
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
influenced by his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
circle and
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "committed", the past tense form of the verb 'commit'?
commited
a murder which resulted life long imprisonment.
In conclusion
, Although there may be various reasons like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medias
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
youngsters fall in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of solid and ethical care of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is the primary reason behind the increase of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate.
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IELTS essay Recent figures show an increase in violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18. Some psychologists claim that the basic reason for this is that children these days are not getting the social and emotional learning they need from parents and teachers.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
327 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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