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water is natural resource which is free for people to use. goverment should ban sales of bottled water. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

It is true that humans are free to use natural water from lake, river or sea. Therefore, some people consider that bottled water should be ban selling. In my opinion I totally disagree with this idea for some following reasons. To begin with, water from natural resources is not really permanent and pure to use in the long run. These days, population increase requires much larger amount of water consumption. As a result, overuse can cause water scarcity in the future because natural water sources are limited. Moreover, most countries are facing to an alarming level of water pollution. Using contaminated water make people seriously ill. For example, in Africa, polluted water causes disease and kills million people annually, most of them children. For two above-mentioned reasons, I believe that natural water is free, but it is not completely the only choice for people’s life demand. Furthermore, bottled water shows many great benefits for people. Firstly, a number of factories producing bottled water create more job opportunities for employee. In fact, it is widely popular that humans have tendency to consume much bottled water daily. This makes water production more increasing, which is beneficial for reducing jobless rate in society. Additionally, bottled water is more guaranteed than natural water. Through many strict processes with modern devices, bottled water has not only high quality but also essential ingredients for people’s health. Moreover, pure bottled water makes people appetite to drink a lot, which can help them staying hydrated and healthier. Because, it is advised that human should drink at least 1. 5 litters’ water in a day. Two benefits mentioned above prove that a sale of bottled water is a crucial part in living. In conclusion, although natural water is supplied for people without charge, it can’t deny necessary role of bottled water in human living.
It is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
are free to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
from lake, river or sea.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider that bottled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
should be ban selling. In my opinion I
totally
disagree with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
following reasons.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources is not
really
permanent and pure to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in the long run. These days, population increase requires much larger amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
consumption.
As a result
, overuse can cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
scarcity in the future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
sources
are limited
.
Moreover
, most countries are facing to an alarming level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
pollution. Using contaminated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
seriously
ill.
For example
, in Africa, polluted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
causes disease and kills
Use “a million” or use a number before ‘million’.
million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
annually
, most of them children. For two above-mentioned reasons, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is free,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not completely the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
choice for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
life demand.

Furthermore
, bottled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
great benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Firstly
, a number of factories producing bottled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
create more job opportunities for employee. In fact, it is
widely
popular that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
have tendency to consume much bottled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
daily. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
production more increasing, which is beneficial for reducing jobless rate in society.
Additionally
, bottled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is more guaranteed than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
. Through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
strict processes with modern devices, bottled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
has not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
high quality
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
essential ingredients for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
health.
Moreover
, pure bottled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
appetite to drink a lot, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
The verb ‘,’ is used with an infinitive: “to stay” or “stay”.
staying
hydrated and healthier.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
, it
is advised
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
should drink at least 1. 5 litters’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in a day. Two benefits mentioned above prove that a sale of bottled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is a crucial part in living.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is supplied
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
without charge, it can’t deny necessary role of bottled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
living.
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IELTS essay water is natural resource which is free for people to use. goverment should ban sales of bottled water.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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