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Watching TV is harmful for children

Watching TV is harmful for children G9Pxx
According to some people it is not good to watch TV for children, while others are of the opinion that it has a According to some people it is not good to watch TV for children, while others are of the opinion that it has also positive improvements in education. I completely agree with the first presented idea since telivisions are on top of the time consumers, as well as it may cause to serious health problems. Time is the most precious for people especially those who are in the process of learning as most of it is consumed by television. Undoubtedly, watching TV may take a big amount of time of pupils who are engaged to study. Because children are quite prone to have entertainment, a lot of interesting programmes on television absorb students' valuable time which should be used for reading. To illustrate, some internet facts show that if children are left with two options that are about the choice of television or books, in most cases, they prefer to choose favourite shows or cartoons rather than studying. Furthermore, a number of health problems come from addiction to television. Specifically, sitting in front of the television more than a half hour affects to people's ability to see and hear. It is clear, a child came to see a 20-minutes educational programme continues watching another unnecessary show at least for again 20 minutes. As a consequence, it may be harmful for the seeing system. For example, according to some scientific researches 70 % of deceases related to eye is contributed by the ray of screen. In conclusion, television is substandard way of educating children because it takes too much time and causes to troubles in human health
According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, while others are of the opinion that it has a

According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, while others are of the opinion that it has
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
improvements in education. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
first
presented
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
since
Possible spelling mistake found.
telivisions
are on top of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
consumers,
as well
as it may cause to serious health problems.

Time is the most precious for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
especially
those who are in the process of learning as most of it
is consumed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
.
Undoubtedly
, watching TV may take a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of pupils who
are engaged
to study.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are quite prone to have entertainment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
interesting
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
absorb students' valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
which should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for reading. To illustrate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
internet facts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
with two options that are about the choice of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
or books,
in most cases
, they prefer to choose
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
or cartoons
rather
than studying.

Furthermore
, a number of health problems
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from addiction to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
.
Specifically
, sitting in front of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
more than a half hour affects to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
and hear. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
, a child came to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a 20-minutes educational
Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
continues watching another unnecessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
at least for again 20 minutes. As a consequence, it may be harmful for the seeing system.
For example
, according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
scientific researches 70 % of deceases related to eye
is contributed
by the ray of screen.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is
Please check whether an article is missing: "a substandard".
substandard
way of educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it takes too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and causes to troubles in human health
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IELTS essay Watching TV is harmful for children

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
287 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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