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Today is a computer day and internet

Today is a computer day and internet pKrkD
In today's world, computer-based technology has increased to the point where most of the jobs are highly dependent on it. Our everyday life is embroideried with mobile phones, i nternet and computers. These technologies are used for educational purposes, in the medical field, in industrial factories, and every aspect of life that you can think about. I believe in the future, our life will depend even more on computers. For instance, nowadays, surgeries are done by doctors and surgions, where in the future, advanced machines will be programmed to do so. Another example would be the rise of robots. These robots will do humans everyday job, whether it is cleaning the house, cooking food, or washing the dishes. When confronted with technologies and how much we depend on them, a question that comes to mind is whether it's good to rely on computers so much or not. In my opinion, dependening on computers and the internet system, can make some aspects of life easier. For instance, education will be easier for students. They can connect with a teacher from another side of the world and learn different subjects. Technologies are also used to do research which could help the society. For example, scientists and physicians use various programs to analyze data from patients to find a cure for cancer. In a nutshell, in the world that we live in today, we depend more and more on technologies that are based on computers every day. The possibilities are endless when you think about the future technologies, and I think using computers can be quite useful for human beings, aiding them for having an easier and more fulfilling life.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world, computer-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has increased to the point where most of the jobs are
highly
dependent on it. Our everyday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
embroideried
with mobile phones,
Possible spelling mistake found.
i nternet
and computers. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for educational purposes, in the medical field, in industrial factories, and every aspect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
that you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about.

I believe in the future, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
will depend even more on computers.
For instance
, nowadays, surgeries
are done
by doctors and
Possible spelling mistake found.
surgions
, where in the future, advanced machines will
be programmed
to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
. Another example would be the rise of robots. These robots will do humans everyday job, whether it is cleaning the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, cooking food, or washing the dishes.

When confronted with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
and how much we depend on them, a question that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to mind is whether it's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to rely on computers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much or not. In my opinion,
Possible spelling mistake found.
dependening
on computers and the internet system, can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
easier.
For instance
, education will be easier for students. They can connect with a teacher from another side of the world and learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
subjects.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technologies
are
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to do research which could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the society.
For example
, scientists and physicians
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
various programs to analyze data from patients to find a cure for cancer.

In a nutshell, in the world that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, we depend more and more on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
that
are based
on computers every day. The possibilities are endless when you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about the future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
, and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
using computers can be quite useful for human beings, aiding them for having an easier and more fulfilling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
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IELTS essay Today is a computer day and internet

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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