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Women are better parents than men. How far do you agree with this view?

Women are better parents than men. How far do you agree with this view? G9PEw
Mother and father both play a crucial role in parenting. Some believe that women are superior in parenting, others on the opinion that men can be also an effective parents. I totally agree with this statement as women are more capable of treating kids emotions. In this essay I will discuss my agreement with this statement followed by a conclusion. To begin with, women are far better when it comes to treating kids emotionally. To further explain, most mothers treat their kids with love and kindness, as this could can make the kids more kind in the future. For example, if kids were to be treated in a harsh way, this might leads to a unbright future, which can destroy their lives. On the other hand, mothers mostly opt working because their husband instead. In other words, womens are dedicated to raise their kids in the best way possible, so they consider that to be their only job. For instance, if both parents were to work at the same time, a bybsitter would be the only option, which is not a good way to raise your kids. In conclusion, it is clear that mothers are better with treating children with love and emotions. I totally agree that mother and father are both important in raising children but mothers are far suprior.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Mother
and father both play a crucial role in parenting.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are superior in parenting, others on the opinion that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
can be
also
an effective
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "parent"?
parents
. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are more capable of treating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
emotions. In this essay I will discuss my agreement with this statement followed by a conclusion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are far better when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to treating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
emotionally
. To
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
, most mothers treat their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and kindness, as this
Two modal verbs connected. Did you mean: "could, can", "could" or "can"?
could can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
more kind in the future.
For example
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
were to
be treated
Consider replacing "in a harsh way" with the adverb for "harsh"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a harsh way
, this might leads to
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
Possible spelling mistake found.
unbright
future, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

On the other hand
, mothers
mostly
opt working
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their husband
instead
.
In other words
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
womens
are dedicated
to raise their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
in the best way possible,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they consider that to be their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
job.
For instance
, if both parents were to work at the same time, a
Possible spelling mistake found.
bybsitter
would be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
option, which is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to raise your kids.

In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that mothers are better with treating children with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and emotions. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
and father are both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in raising children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
mothers are far
Possible spelling mistake found.
suprior
.
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IELTS essay Women are better parents than men. How far do you agree with this view?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
221 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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