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Walking is known to be beneficial for health and yet fewer and fewer people are walking these days. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to tackle this problem?

Level of physical activity is one of the factors that largely affect our health. One of the most available ways to increase this level is walking, yet many people tend to stick with sedentary life due to many different reasons. In the modern world this issue is very important and to find proper solutions we need to understand its background. I believe that the one of the main reasons why fever people are walking these days is the improvement and large variety of transportation. It has become way easier and time saving to move around. Nowadays many people cannot imagine their lives without cars. I agree that sometimes it can be very convenient to save your time and take a bus to get a couple stops away instead of walking the same distance. For example, if you are running late or there is an emergency. Although, more and more people get used to this comfortable and fast way of getting places and forget that they have other options. It would take a lot of time for the humanity to solve this problem and spread the solutions, however, we should definitely start dealing with. First, the government should take action and educate people about various ways how can they benefit from walking. Also, people need to get encouraged more and more in different physical activities such as free marathons, walking routs, etc. in order to develop a habit. It will make those activities and walking in particular a part of everyone’s daily routine. To sum up, even though less people are getting encouraged in different physical activities including walking, in cooperation of government and the public we can take certain steps to improve this situation as well as ensure a healthier nation.
Level of physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
is one of the factors that
largely
affect our health. One of the most available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to increase this level is walking,
yet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to stick with sedentary life due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reasons. In the modern world this issue is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and to find proper solutions we need to understand its background.

I believe that the one of the main reasons why fever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are walking these days is the improvement and large variety of transportation. It has become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
easier and time saving to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
around. Nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot imagine their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
without cars. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
convenient to save your time and take a bus to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a couple
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stops
away
instead
of walking the same distance.
For example
, if you are running late or there is an emergency. Although, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to this comfortable and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
of getting places and forget that they have other options.

It would take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time for the humanity to solve this problem and spread the solutions,
however
, we should definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
dealing with.
First
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take action and educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
how can they benefit from walking.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
encouraged more and more in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
such as free marathons, walking routs, etc. in order to develop a habit. It will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and walking
in particular
a part of everyone’s daily routine.

To sum up,
even though
Did you mean “fewer”? The noun people is countable.
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are getting encouraged in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
including walking, in cooperation of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and the public we can take certain steps to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
this situation
as well
as ensure a healthier nation.

IELTS essay Walking is known to be beneficial for health and yet fewer and fewer people are walking these days. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to tackle this problem?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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