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Some people believe that unpaid community services should be a compulsory part of high school programs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the view of some people, committing activities for the community with expecting no money in return should be considered on school programmes. These activites may include a vast range of services such as contributing in charities and elevating the neighbourhood which all are classified as unpaid services. In my opinion, considering these actions in schools curriculum, just as children personalities are about to be developed, would be benefitial in several ways. Owing to the fact that a well organised society needs responsible citizens, social concerns should be taught to the schoolchildren as well as personal ones. In other words, children must understand the vital role of community services in the survival of a well established society. Ofcourse, these services are not a matter a business as oppose to many other activities which they are. Although, schools play a critical role in shaping a child's point of view and attitude. Hence, it shoulld be in mind that children are immensely receptive to what school programmes aim to debate. For instance, by holding a charity in school and offering voluntary free working oppurtunities, children could be easily deprived from having the adverse attitude that describes any sort of work in exchange of a payment. To conclude, due to the fact that school activities put remarkable effects on children and community services necessarity, it is essential to consider these sort of activities in schools programmes. One other good way is to define extracurricular activities with same aspects of unpaid services useful to the community.
In the view of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, committing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
with expecting no money in return should
be considered
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
Possible spelling mistake. ‘programmes’ is British English.
programmes
. These
Possible spelling mistake found.
activites
may include a vast range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
such as contributing in charities and elevating the
Possible spelling mistake. ‘neighbourhood’ is British English.
neighbourhood
which all
are classified
as unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
. In my opinion, considering these actions in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
curriculum,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
personalities are about to
be developed
, would be
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefitial
in several ways.

Owing to the fact that a
This word is normally spelled with a hyphen.
well organised
society needs responsible citizens, social concerns should
be taught
to the schoolchildren
as well
as personal ones.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
understand the vital role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
in the survival of a well established society.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ofcourse
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
are not a matter a business
Did you mean the common phrase/idiom “as opposed to”?
as oppose to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
which they are.

Although,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
play a critical role in shaping a child's point of view and attitude.
Hence
, it
Possible spelling mistake found.
shoulld
be in mind that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
immensely
receptive to what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
Possible spelling mistake. ‘programmes’ is British English.
programmes
aim to debate.
For instance
, by holding a charity in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and offering voluntary free working
Possible spelling mistake found.
oppurtunities
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
could be
easily
The usual collocation for “deprived” is “of”, not “”. Did you mean “deprived of”?
deprived from
having the adverse attitude that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
any sort of work
The usual preposition to use after “in exchange” is “for”, not “of”. Did you mean “in exchange for”?
in exchange of
a payment.

To conclude
, due to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
put remarkable effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
Possible spelling mistake found.
necessarity
, it is essential to consider
‘These’ does not seem to match the singular noun ‘sort’. Did you mean “this sort” or “these sorts”?
these sort
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
Possible spelling mistake. ‘programmes’ is British English.
programmes
. One other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way is to define extracurricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
with same aspects of unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
useful to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that unpaid community services should be a compulsory part of high school programs.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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