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Visitors to London Museums

Visitors to London Museums WgDXN
The line provides details/ detailed information of the percentage of people who came to four London museums in the last 6 months. It is worth noticing that the number of people who came to the British Museum and History Museum was higher than the National Museum, Science Museum. To initiate, from June to August, the percentage of people visiting History Museum rose slowly from 400, 000 to 600, 000 individuals. And in the next 2 months, the number of people interested in the History Museum went down to 300, 000 individuals in December. Furthemore, from June to August, the total of people visiting the British Museum went up strongly from 410, 000 to 720, 000 individuals. We could also see the number of people visiting the British museum fell slowly to 430, 000 individuals in the last 3 months. Second, from June to August, the percentage of people coming to the National museum stayed constant after going up slowly from 210, 000 to 300, 000 individuals while the number of people coming to the National museum rose slowly to 190, 000 individuals. Last but not least, the number of people visiting the Science museum fluctuated from 300, 000 to 500, 000 individuals in the last 6 months.
The line provides
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
/ detailed information of the percentage of
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people
who came to four London
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museums
in the last 6 months. It is worth noticing that the
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number
of
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people
who came to the British
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Museum
and History
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Museum
was higher than the National
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Museum
, Science Museum.

To initiate, from June to August, the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visiting History
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museum
rose
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slowly
from 400, 000 to 600, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
. And in the
next
2 months, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
interested in the History
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museum
went down to 300, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
in December.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Furthemore
, from June to August, the total of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visiting the British
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museum
went up
strongly
from 410, 000 to 720, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
. We could
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
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number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visiting the British
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museum
fell
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slowly
to 430, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
in the last 3 months.

Second, from June to August, the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
coming to the National
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
stayed constant after going up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
slowly
from 210, 000 to 300, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
coming to the National
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
rose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
slowly
to 190, 000 individuals.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visiting the Science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
fluctuated from 300, 000 to 500, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
in the last 6 months.
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IELTS essay Visitors to London Museums

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
207 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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