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visiting a museum during a trip

visiting a museum during a trip pJL1L
From my standpoint, visiting a museum is the best way to learn about the culture and history of the country that you go to. Although many people prefer to spend their time with landmarks and shopping I have had many great experiences visiting museums. Museums are places that combine entertainment, fun, and learn at the same time. Nowadays they are equipped with the most modern technology which means that they can attract all the ages of visitors. To conclude I personally believe that people like me visit museums to having fun and acquire knowledge.
From my standpoint, visiting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
is the best way to learn about the culture and history of the country that you go to. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to spend their time with landmarks and shopping I have had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
great experiences visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museums
are places that combine entertainment, fun, and learn at the same time. Nowadays they
are equipped
with the most modern technology which means that they can attract all the ages of visitors.
To conclude
I
personally
believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
like me visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
to having fun and acquire knowledge.

IELTS essay visiting a museum during a trip

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
94 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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