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visit different places around the country

Thanks for the opportunity to talk about a time when I get lost in a place I didn’t know. Well, I am a travel freak person and I like to visit different places around the country as well as the world. I always visit different places. When I was a student of 9th grade, I went to a summer camp and got lost from my team. It was at the beginning of summer when our school authority decided to take us to a summer camp in a remote place. We were thrilled to about that we are going to learn some extraordinary skills to survive. When we were taken to the place, we found a place is a different form of natural beauty and the camping sites were perfect for us. Following the teachers’ instruction, we pitched our camps and some of us started collecting woods for fueling the food preparation for the first night under the open sky. I also went to collect woods (although there were fewer trees), I was lost.
Thanks for the opportunity to talk about a time when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
lost in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
I didn’t know. Well, I am a travel freak person and I like to visit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
around the country
as well
as the world. I always visit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
places.

When I was a student of 9th grade, I went to a summer camp and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
lost from my team.

It was at the beginning of summer when our school authority decided to take us to a summer camp in a remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
. We
were thrilled
to about that we are going to learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extraordinary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to survive. When we
were taken
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
, we found a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
form of natural beauty and the camping sites were perfect for us. Following the teachers’ instruction, we pitched our camps and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
collecting woods for fueling the food preparation for the
first
night under the open sky. I
also
went to collect woods (although there were fewer trees), I
was lost
.
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IELTS essay visit different places around the country

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
173 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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