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Violence in the media promotes violence in society.

Violence in the media promotes violence in society. P0eX
Presently, people pay a lot of attention to the media, including children and adults because people use media to receive news and communicate with each other. There is both good news and bad news mixed together. Therefore, the media can promote social violence as follows. First, today social media is quite influential on humans that people can get to know the news of each day quickly, either intentionally or not. In the social world, everyone will continue to share and spread across the world, such as Twitter if there is any topic that is popular, will be trending on that day and with hashtags. In addition, the younger generation is very addicted to phones. Whether for studying or using the internet, they will definitely be seeing some news of the violence. For example, there was news that the teacher hit the student so badly that the body was injured because of disobedience. This indicates that social violence is detrimental to children and young people who are exposed to this kind of media. Because it is a bad example and can lead to following an example. Moreover, these social media can increase the chances of imitating bad behavior towards children and youth. Like a popular video game or other with teenagers, they learn and remember what they see and hear. It makes them have a bad and aggressive character because the videos use disrespectful speech and show inappropriate behavior. In conclusion, according to that reason mentioned above. It shows the violence of the media, so parents should advise their child and explain the advantages and disadvantages of that media.
Presently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
pay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
attention to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, including children and adults
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
to receive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and communicate with each other. There is both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and
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bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
mixed together.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
can promote
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social
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violence
as follows.

First
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is quite influential on humans that
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people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
of each day
quickly
, either
intentionally
or not. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
world, everyone will continue to share and spread across the world, such as Twitter if there is any topic
that is
popular, will be trending on that day and with hashtags.

In addition
, the younger generation is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
addicted to phones. Whether for studying or using the internet, they will definitely be seeing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
.
For example
, there was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
that the teacher hit the student
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
badly
that the body
was injured
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of disobedience. This indicates that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
is detrimental to children and young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
are exposed
to this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
it is a
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bad
example and can lead to following an example.

Moreover
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
can increase the
Did you mean "changes"?
chances
of imitating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
behavior towards children and youth. Like a popular video game or other with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
, they learn and remember what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
and hear. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
and aggressive character
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the videos
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
disrespectful speech and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
inappropriate behavior.

In conclusion
, according to that reason mentioned above. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
parents should advise their child and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the advantages and disadvantages of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
.
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IELTS essay Violence in the media promotes violence in society.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
268 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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