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Many elderly people are no long looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing homes. Do you agree or disagree of this trend?

Many elderly people are no long looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing homes. of this trend? qjdE
Recently, some families no longer look after their aged members such as grandpa and grandma. They prefer to entrust them to the hands of a caregiver or nursing home. Older ones can have adequate care and also network with their fellow folks when staying in care homes, although there are drawbacks to be taken into account. On the one hand, there is a number of advantages to elderly people who have stayed in a nursing home. Firstly, it will give them adequate care since most nursing homes have a plethora of specialists that can handle nutrition, heart disease, varicose to mention a few. Unlike staying at home where the family members are busy working hard to make money to build their future. For instance, older people who suffer from osteoporosis which requires expensive equipment to manage are readily available in most nursing homes. Secondly, staying in a nursing home will give them the privilege to network with their agemate whereby they can share ideas and view together. This tends to make them be lively and friendly seeing their fellow folks. On the other hand, one problem when older people are staying is that they suffer from depressions. Being isolated from their lovely and usual environment can make them feel lonely and sad. This can result in psychological trauma and moodiness. According to research carried out in the UK, it was discovered that 85% of older folks staying in a nursing home as mental problems caused by loneliness. However, taking care of the aged at home is more effective than a nursing home. To conclude, it can be deduced that despite the benefits of the elderly staying in a nursing home, it can lead to depression which could result in mental illness.
Recently,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
families no longer look after their aged members such as grandpa and grandma. They prefer to entrust them to the hands of a caregiver or nursing home.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Older
ones can have adequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
and
also
network with their fellow folks when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staying
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
, although there are drawbacks to
be taken
into account.

On the one hand, there is a number of advantages to elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have stayed in a nursing home.
Firstly
, it will give them adequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
since most nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
have a plethora of specialists that can handle nutrition, heart disease, varicose to mention a few. Unlike
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staying
at home where the family members are busy working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money to build their future.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who suffer from osteoporosis which requires expensive equipment to manage are
readily
available in most nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staying
in a nursing home will give them the privilege to network with their
Possible spelling mistake found.
agemate
whereby they can share
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and view together. This tends to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them be lively and friendly seeing their fellow folks.

On the other hand
, one problem when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staying
is that they suffer from depressions.
Being isolated
from their lovely and usual environment can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them feel lonely and sad. This can result in psychological trauma and moodiness. According to research carried out in the UK, it
was discovered
that 85% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
folks
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staying
in a nursing home as mental problems caused by loneliness.
However
, taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of the aged at home is more effective than a nursing home.

To conclude
, it can
be deduced
that despite the benefits of the elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staying
in a nursing home, it can lead to depression which could result in mental illness.
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IELTS essay Many elderly people are no long looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing homes. of this trend?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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