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Very few schoolchildren learn about the value of money and how to look after it, yet this is a critical life skill that should be taught as part of the school curriculum. Do you agree or disagree?

Very few schoolchildren learn about the value of money and how to look after it, yet this is a critical life skill that should be taught as part of the school curriculum. NBLN
It may be true that schools don’t really teach young people how to handle their finances on a grand scale, but it isn’t true that they ignore the topic altogether. The problem may be that students don’t see the relevance of what they are taught. At primary school children learn to do mental arithmetic and simple calculations including fractions and decimals. At my school, maths problems at this level were set in a real context such as working out the cost of buying a T-shirt at 10% discount, or calculating interest when you put your pocket money in a savings account. Unfortunately, some children do not realise how useful these things will be later in life. For instance, if you borrow money to buy a car, you need to know how to work out for yourself how much it will cost you without relying on the finance company to tell you. Similarly people should only buy things on credit if they know how much it is really costing them if they don’t pay the debt off each month. It is possibly true that schools could try to make children understand the importance of all these areas, but children are young and cannot look into the future or predict the skills that they will need. Ultimately, people have to make their own decisions about what money is worth, based on their earnings and lifestyle. An education system can equip us to work out what is best, but it cannot save the money for us.
It may be true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
don’t
really
teach young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
how to handle their finances on a grand scale,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it isn’t true that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the topic altogether. The problem may be that students don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the relevance of what they
are taught
.

At primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn to do mental arithmetic and simple calculations including fractions and decimals. At my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
problems at this level
were set
in a real context such as working out the cost of buying a T-shirt at 10% discount, or calculating interest when you put your pocket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in a savings account.

Unfortunately,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
how useful these things will be later in life.
For instance
, if you borrow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a car, you need to know how to work out for yourself how much it will cost you without relying on the finance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
you.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Similarly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things on credit if they know how much it is
really
costing them if they don’t pay the debt off each month.

It is
possibly
true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
could try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
understand the importance of all these areas,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are young and cannot look into the future or predict the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that they will need.

Ultimately
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
decisions about what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is worth, based on their earnings and lifestyle. An education system can equip us to work out what is best,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it cannot save the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for us.

IELTS essay Very few schoolchildren learn about the value of money and how to look after it, yet this is a critical life skill that should be taught as part of the school curriculum.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
253 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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