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Very few schoolchildren learn about the value of money and how to look after it, yet this is a critical life skill that should be taught as part of the school curriculum. Do you agree or disagree?

Very few schoolchildren learn about the value of money and how to look after it, yet this is a critical life skill that should be taught as part of the school curriculum. Lro3G
Money is the most indispensable for living life, and learns to value it at an early life is helpful for later life. However, this essay disagrees with the statement that it should be studied in school because learn to merit money cannot be studied as a subject in academy like any other subject. Moreover, it is the responsibility of parents to teach their children this moral ethic. Firstly, School has a lot of subjects in their timetable, and students already have so much burden on their shoulders. Besides, to teach pupils the importance of cash and how to spend it, in the curriculum is a bad idea, because they already have a lot to study and this cannot be taught in the academies and take an exam and pass it. For example, an experiment has been done in the UK, they started to teach moral values in schools, but after some time they have found that students lack behind in other subjects. Secondly, Children adopt the moral values from their parents and grandparents. Moreover, parents have to make their children realize the worth of cash at an early age. This knowledge from an initial age would be fruitful and will not spend cash on an unnecessary luxury. For instance, Warren Buffet - the world's top investor, said in one of his interviews that he realized the significance of capital when he was in school. His first investment was at the age of 11 by his saving from pocket money given by his parents. As a result, today he is a billionaire and 5th richest person in the world. To conclude, knowing the importance of wealth in childhood could be benevolent and instead of teaching it in school, parents should inculcate moral values to their children. Sat Aug 29 2020
Money is the most indispensable for living life, and learns to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
it at an early life is helpful for later life.
However
, this essay disagrees with the statement that it should
be studied
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
learn to merit money cannot
be studied
as a subject in academy like any other subject.
Moreover
, it is the responsibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to teach their children this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moral
ethic.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
subjects in their timetable, and students already have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much burden on their shoulders.
Besides
, to teach pupils the importance of cash and how to spend it, in the curriculum is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they already have a lot to study and this cannot
be taught
in the academies and take an exam and pass it.
For example
, an experiment has
been done
in the UK, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moral
values in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time they have found that students lack behind in other subjects.

Secondly
, Children adopt the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moral
values from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and grandparents.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their children realize the worth of cash at an early age. This knowledge from an initial age would be fruitful and will not spend cash on an unnecessary luxury.
For instance
, Warren Buffet
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
the world's top investor, said in one of his interviews that he realized the significance of capital when he was in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. His
first
investment was at the age of 11 by his saving from pocket money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
As a result
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
he is a billionaire and 5th richest person in the world.

To conclude
, knowing the importance of wealth in childhood could be benevolent and
instead
of teaching it in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should inculcate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moral
values to their children.

Sat Aug 29 2020
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IELTS essay Very few schoolchildren learn about the value of money and how to look after it, yet this is a critical life skill that should be taught as part of the school curriculum.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
298 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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