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VACCINATING CHILDREN AGAINST PREVENTABLE DISEASES IS UNNECESSARY AND DANGEROUS.TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE

VACCINATING CHILDREN AGAINST PREVENTABLE DISEASES IS UNNECESSARY AND DANGEROUS. 7PyOY
With the advent of vaccines, it is now possible to prevent several dreadful diseases with potential complications and morbidities, which commonly affect infants and children. This essay will enlight why vaccination is compulsory in children against preventable diseases despite of having some known complications and risks. Immunization against various diseases decreased the mortality rate among the children over the past few decades. Regardless of various action plans introduced by government and other health care organizations, effective vaccination of children in demographic regions are still a failure. This is due to fact that parents are much concerned about their offspring as they are getting injected by unfamiliar material and falling sick, which is quite justifiable. Indeed, U. S based health journal data showed that, several children are sensitive to hepatitis vaccination which resulted in mild to moderate anaphylactic reactions, with no fatal outcome. Many of such incidents negatively etched parents mind towards immunization and convinced vaccinations are unnecessary and dangerous. On the contrary, parents who vaccinated their children noticed that, there is declined in frequency of their child falling ill, on comparative to children who are not immunized. vaccination enhance the disease fighting ability and improves the resistant power towards illness. For instance, the polio vaccination against polio disease had been successful in eradicating polio from the world. Similarly we also succeeded in eliminating the small pox disease through immunization. To conclude, immunization promotes better health among the children and suppress certain diseases despite of minor risks and sickness involved.
With the advent of vaccines, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
several dreadful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
with potential complications and
Possible spelling mistake found.
morbidities
, which
commonly
affect infants and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. This essay will
Possible spelling mistake found.
enlight
why vaccination is compulsory in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
against preventable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
known complications and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
.

Immunization against various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
decreased the mortality rate among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
over the past few decades. Regardless of various action plans introduced by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and other health care organizations, effective vaccination of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in demographic regions are
still
a failure. This is due to fact that parents are much concerned about their offspring as they are getting injected by unfamiliar material and falling sick, which is quite justifiable.
Indeed
, U. S based health journal data
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that, several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are sensitive to hepatitis vaccination which resulted in mild to moderate anaphylactic reactions, with no fatal outcome.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of such incidents
negatively
etched parents mind towards immunization and convinced vaccinations are unnecessary and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
.

On the contrary
, parents who vaccinated their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
noticed that, there
is declined
in frequency of their child falling ill, on comparative to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who are not immunized.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
vaccination
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "enhances".
enhance
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
fighting ability and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the resistant power towards illness.
For instance
, the polio vaccination against polio
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
had been successful in eradicating polio from the world.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Similarly
we
also
succeeded in eliminating the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
pox
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
through immunization.

To conclude
, immunization promotes better health among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and suppress certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
minor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
and sickness involved.

IELTS essay VACCINATING CHILDREN AGAINST PREVENTABLE DISEASES IS UNNECESSARY AND DANGEROUS.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
249 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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