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Using points and examples from the lecture, explain the two major factors of product quality and how their role in consumer decision making has changed. v.1

Using points and examples from the lecture, explain the two major factors of product quality and how their role in consumer decision making has changed. v. 1
In our contemporary life, accommodation for college students is a major topic of concern when many students need to leave their houses and move to other places where their universities are. While some people claim that there are clear reasons why living far from home is disadvantageous, it would seem that the benefits are more significant than the drawbacks. On the one hand, there are few shortcomings arising when students do not live with their families. Studying in other places means that students need to spend a huge amount of money in living costs like renting, electricity, water, meals, transportation and so on. As a result, they are unable to economize. Moreover, students will not be watched carefully by family members; hence they cannot receive any useful advice if they get into troubles. On the other hand, one would firmly claim that the merits of living away from home are far weightier the disadvantages. When staying at home, students are unable to concentrate on their homework or may be distracted by other family members. Living at home means that they can get full financial support; however, this may bring about poor personal economic management skill. Students pursuing their higher education in other places are also given the chance to become mature and live independently with their own income, and this is a perfect environment to achieve a lot of social skills, which may help them not only with their study but also in their lives. In conclusion, I firmly believe that university students living away from home are associated with significant profits which far outweigh the shortcomings.
In our contemporary life, accommodation for college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
is a major topic of concern when
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
places where their universities are. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
far from home is disadvantageous, it would seem that the benefits are more significant than the drawbacks.

On the one hand, there are few shortcomings arising when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with their families. Studying in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
places means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
need to spend a huge amount of money in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
costs like renting, electricity, water, meals, transportation and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
As a result
, they are unable to economize.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
carefully
by family members;
hence
they cannot receive any useful advice if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into troubles.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, one would
firmly
claim that the merits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
away from home are far weightier the disadvantages. When staying at home,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are unable to concentrate on their homework or may
be distracted
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
family members.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Living
at home means that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
full financial support;
however
, this may bring about poor personal economic management
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
pursuing their higher education in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
places are
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the chance to become mature and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
independently
with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
income, and this is a perfect environment to achieve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, which may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
with their study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

In conclusion
, I
firmly
believe that university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
away from home
are associated
with significant profits which far outweigh the shortcomings.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Using points and examples from the lecture, explain the two major factors of product quality and how their role in consumer decision making has changed. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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