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University students often focus on one subject .however , some people think that university should encourage students to learn wide range of other subject .To what extent do you agree or disagree?

University students often focus on one subject. however, some people think that university should encourage students to learn wide range of other subject. LMy6
It is prioritize by myriad individuals that universities students concentrate on one subject, it is believed by others that student should be motivated by universities to learn various subjects. While, I partially disagree with this scenario due to some reasons To address, why learners should concentrate on one subject, it is crucial to fathom two factors: interest and job opportunities. Initially, individuals who focus more on one subject according to their interest in order that marks could be burgeoning. To conspicuous that getting better grades in their favourite subjects is extremely easy for learners. Furthermore, chance of job opportunities is escalating owing to study one subject properly. To elaborate, along with having ample of knowledge change of job in their interesting field are also proliferating. As a result, learning one subject not only worthwhile for students interest but also behooveful to get desirable jobs. Looking at flip side, universities should encourage students to study innumerable subjects, it play an imperative role to explore knowledge pertaining to various fields. To support that it is irrefutable truth that distant subjects are extremely beneficial for gathering more several type of information which became worthwhile for further life. A survey conducted by William Douglas-professor of Harvard university -states that -in the UK people who have first preference to study many subjects, they are more experienced and knowledgeable rather than those who only focus on one subject. Hence, it is eminent way To boost knowledge. To epitomize, it can be reiterated that although learning other subjects are pivotal, focus one one subject is better for students to achieve their goals
It is
Consider using a past participle here: "prioritized".
prioritize
by myriad individuals that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
concentrate on one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
, it
is believed
by others that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
should
be motivated
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
to learn various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. While, I
partially
disagree with this scenario due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons To address, why learners should concentrate on one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
, it is crucial to fathom two factors: interest and job opportunities.
Initially
, individuals who focus more on one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
according to their interest in order that marks could be burgeoning.
Did you mean "Too"?
To
conspicuous that getting better grades in their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
is
extremely
easy for learners.
Furthermore
, chance of job opportunities is escalating owing to study one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
properly
. To elaborate, along with having ample of knowledge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
of job in their interesting field are
also
proliferating.
As a result
, learning one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
worthwhile for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
interest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
Possible spelling mistake found.
behooveful
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
desirable jobs.

Looking at flip side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to study innumerable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, it
Did you mean "plays"?
play
an imperative role to explore knowledge pertaining to various fields. To support that it is irrefutable truth that distant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are
extremely
beneficial for gathering more
Possible agreement error. The noun type seems to be countable; consider using: "several types".
several type
of information which became worthwhile for
further
life. A survey conducted by William Douglas-professor of Harvard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
-states that -in the UK
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have
first
preference to study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, they are more experienced and knowledgeable
rather
than those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
focus on one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
.
Hence
, it is
Please check whether an article is missing: "a eminent".
eminent
way To boost knowledge.

To epitomize, it can
be reiterated
that although learning other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are pivotal, focus
Possible typo: you repeated a word
one one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
is better for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to achieve their goals
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IELTS essay University students often focus on one subject. however, some people think that university should encourage students to learn wide range of other subject.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
264 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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