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“Unemployment among graduates today is caused by their own attitude.” Do you agree with the statement? Justify your stand by giving relevant examples where appropriate.

“Unemployment among graduates today is caused by their own attitude. ” Justify your stand by giving relevant examples where appropriate. 2550k
Every year, thousands of graduates are out of university and proceed to enter society to look for a job. Every graduate is all specialized in a specific area of their course they had opted for which should be an advantage to the society, unfortunately, news regarding the percentage of unemployed graduates is getting higher each year due to their attitude problems. In consideration, attitude may be part of the factor which causes them to be unemployed, more other factors include competition is too high and the company may not have enough budget to pay employees. First off, any company should prepare a certain amount of money which is enough for the bills, employees, equipment and more other things should be taken into account to start one. Higher position workers have to consider that fresh graduates are depending on the salary that their company is paying them to live. Usually, fresh graduates are expected to look over their shoulders regarding their salary and the only way to increase the pay is to work harder. If a company isn’t ready to start up financially it shouldn’t hire anyone, especially fresh graduates as it’s just delaying their future. Hence, a company without experience and a stable finance chain, shouldn’t hire anyone to join them. Moreover, as mentioned, thousands of graduates are out of university to find a pleasant job for themselves which eventually leads to higher competition between individuals. Out of all these graduates, there could be loads of all-rounders, some might be the top in a specific area. Making an assumption whereby there are about half of the thousand’s graduates are an all-rounder and a company is only hiring 5 graduates. The chances of passing the interview are so close to zero. A graduate who’s at a moderate level could barely excel among all of them. In conclusion, graduates facing unemployment can be also caused by high competition. Furthermore, some companies may pay more attention to attitude than academic achievements. Companies tend to pay more attention to the attitude of a worker is mainly the society now requires a myriad number of communications. As known, teenagers in this generation are mostly spoiled by their parents which causes them to have a reckless attitude. Nowadays, it's so typical to find graduates with excellent results but comes with a very bad attitude. Imagine working with a colleague with a hilarious attitude the whole day, which isn’t something other colleagues signed up for. With that, attitude does play a huge role in whether to get a graduate employed. To sum up, graduates facing unemployment may be caused by several reasons, for example, their attitude, company with low budget to pay them and high competition between each and others. Graduates who are facing unemployment don’t deserve it, as they worked so hard for years to try to maintain their grades just to get a decent job for themselves and at the same time to make their parents proud. Instead of finding reasons why graduates are unemployed, is there a chance where companies who dislike hiring fresh graduates are getting more?
Every year, thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
are out of university and proceed to enter society to look for a job. Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
is all specialized in a specific area of their course they had opted for which should be an advantage to the society, unfortunately, news regarding the percentage of unemployed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
is getting higher each year due to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attitude
problems. In consideration,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attitude
may be part of the factor which causes them to
be unemployed
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factors include competition is too high and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
may not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
budget to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
employees.

First
off, any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
should prepare a certain amount of money which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for the bills, employees, equipment and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things should
be taken
into account to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
one. Higher position workers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
The verb 'depending' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are depending
on the salary that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
is paying them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
Usually
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to look over their shoulders regarding their salary and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
is to work harder. If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
isn’t ready to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
up
financially
it shouldn’t hire anyone,
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
as it’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
delaying their future.
Hence
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
without experience and a stable finance chain, shouldn’t hire anyone to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
them.

Moreover
, as mentioned, thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
are out of university to find a pleasant job for themselves which
eventually
leads to higher competition between individuals. Out of all these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
, there could be loads of all-rounders,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
might be the top in a specific area. Making an assumption whereby there are about half of the thousand’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
are an all-rounder and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
hiring 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
. The chances of passing the interview are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
close to zero. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
who’s at a moderate level could
barely
excel among all of them.
In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
facing unemployment can be
also
caused by high competition.

Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
more attention to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attitude
than academic achievements.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Companies
tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
more attention to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attitude
of a worker is
mainly
the society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
requires a myriad number of communications. As known,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
in this generation are
mostly
spoiled by their parents which causes them to have a reckless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attitude
. Nowadays, it's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
typical to find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
with excellent results
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attitude
. Imagine working with a colleague with a hilarious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attitude
the whole day, which isn’t something
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
colleagues signed up for. With that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attitude
does play a huge role in whether to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
employed.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
facing unemployment may
be caused
by several reasons,
for example
, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attitude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
with low budget to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
them and high competition between each
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Graduates
who are facing unemployment don’t deserve it, as they worked
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for years to try to maintain their grades
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a decent job for themselves and at the same time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their parents proud.
Instead
of finding reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
are unemployed
, is there a chance where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
who dislike hiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
are getting more?
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IELTS essay “Unemployment among graduates today is caused by their own attitude. ” Justify your stand by giving relevant examples where appropriate.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
514 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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