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MANY STUDENTS find it difficult to pay attention at school. What are the resume for that / What could be done to solve this problem ?

MANY STUDENTS find it difficult to pay attention at school. What are the resume for that / What could be done to solve this problem? 255wk
Attention is an attitude that is a crucial statement in students' behavior. Students find it difficult to have concentrated on academic courses. There are several reasons behind this fact however, we can effectively manage this problem. My point of view in this matter is familiar problems and lack of interest in the subjects presented that leads to poor concentration of students. To begin with, we all know that a family is a place where a child should find peace, so an unstable household will affect everyone, spatially kids. Some circumstances like divorce, financial burden, or absents of parents will damage Childs way of thinking the result of this matter can be seen in their actions and their school. As a result instead of focusing on the subject that is being thought they will focus on what seems more important to them. However, in most cases, parents can take control of this problem with the help of consoles. By providing them constructive feedback and effective ways to realistically deal with their emotional turmoil their mind can be free of the pressure it was facing. This is a proven fact that as humans regardless of how old we are, the structure of our brain is managed to have better performance and concentration on subjects that are more enjoyable for us. Kids with their playful minds are not departed. Nowadays schools will not give the freedom of choosing curses to students and the traditional subjects and teaching methods make it more boring. Another cause that makes subjects less interesting is not having any enthusiasm to participate in the activities. In the mentioned situation the education system should take actions like giving students the freedom to choose the subjects that suit the taste and needs of the new generation. Since the world is changing now we're able to implement technology to get aid from visualization and virtual reality to make subjects as if they're a game. Another action to take is Interactive teaching methods by hands-on experiences or project-based subjects, especially for more sophisticated topics. These actions make subjects more interesting so the distraction present will reduce. To sum it up there are several ways to reduce the number of distraction that students are facing and most of that can be solved with the help of the government.
Attention is an attitude
that is
a crucial statement in students' behavior.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
find it difficult to have concentrated on academic courses. There are several reasons behind this fact
however
, we can
effectively
manage this problem. My point of view in this matter is familiar problems and lack of interest in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
presented that leads to poor concentration of students.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, we all know that a family is a place where a child should find peace,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
an unstable household will affect everyone,
spatially
kids.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
circumstances like divorce, financial burden, or absents of parents will damage
Possible spelling mistake found.
Childs way
of thinking the result of this matter can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in their actions and their school.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a result
instead
of focusing on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
that is
being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
they will focus on what seems more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to them.
However
,
in most cases
, parents can take control of this problem with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of consoles. By providing them constructive feedback and effective ways to
realistically
deal with their emotional turmoil their mind can be free of the pressure it was facing.

This is a proven fact that as humans regardless of how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
we are, the structure of our brain
is managed
to have better performance and concentration on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
that are more enjoyable for us. Kids with their playful minds are not departed. Nowadays schools will not give the freedom of choosing curses to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and the traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
and teaching methods
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
it more boring. Another cause that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
less interesting is not having any enthusiasm to participate in the activities. In the mentioned situation the education system should take actions like giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
the freedom to choose the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
that suit the taste and needs of the new generation. Since the world is changing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
we're able to implement technology to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
aid from visualization and virtual reality to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
as if they're a game. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
action
to take is Interactive teaching methods by hands-on experiences or project-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
,
especially
for more sophisticated topics. These actions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
more interesting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the distraction present will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
.

To sum it up there are several ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of distraction that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are facing and most of that can
be solved
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
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IELTS essay MANY STUDENTS find it difficult to pay attention at school. What are the resume for that / What could be done to solve this problem?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
384 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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