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UAE government spending in 2000. The total budget was AED 315 billion. Do you agree with this statement?

UAE government spending in 2000. The total budget was AED 315 billion. Kw3R9
The pie hart illustrates the money of UAE government spent in 2000 which the total budget was AED 315 billion. Overall, the money spent for social security was the most highest in catalogies. Whereas, transport was spent less than each other. As clearly seen that UAE government spent AED 100 billion for social security. It show that thing is important in this country. Health and personal social services just a half of social security with AED 53 billion. While other expenditure was spent as same as debt interest with AED 23 billion. The money which UAE government spent for education was second-third of health and personal social services. Although Defence was less 1 billion than other expenditure but the money was nearly doubt transport. The money UAE spent for industry, agriculture and employment, housing herritage and environment, law and order was just AED 2 billion a part which was 13, 15, 17 respectively.
The pie hart illustrates the
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money
of UAE
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government
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spent
in 2000 which the total budget
was AED
315 billion.

Overall
, the
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money
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spent
for
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social
security was the
Use only "highest" (without 'most') when you use the superlative.
most highest
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
catalogies
.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, transport was
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spent
less than each other.

As
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that UAE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
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spent
AED 100
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billion
for
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social
security. It
Did you mean "shows"?
show
that thing is
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important
in this country. Health and personal
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social
services
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just
a half of
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social
security with AED 53
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billion
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
other expenditure was
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spent
as same as debt interest with AED 23
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billion
. The
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money
which UAE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
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spent
for education was second-third of health and personal
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social
services.

Although
Possible spelling mistake. 'Defence' is British English.
Defence
was less 1
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billion
than other expenditure
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
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money
was
nearly
doubt transport. The
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money
UAE
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spent
for industry, agriculture and employment, housing
Possible spelling mistake found.
herritage
and environment, law and order was
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just
AED 2
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billion
a part which was 13, 15, 17
respectively
.
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IELTS essay UAE government spending in 2000. The total budget was AED 315 billion.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
153 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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