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Traffic and housing problems in major cities could be solved by moving large companies and factories and their employees to the countryside. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Traffic and housing problems in major cities could be solved by moving large companies and factories and their employees to the countryside. with this opinion? 2bakb
In this global era, increased traffic and housing problem in big cities could be solved by relocating big companies and factories and their employees to the rural areas. However, I partially agree with this. In this essay, we will analyze how moving of big companies in rural area is benificial and how this step can effect countryside. To begin with, moving large companies to the countryside can lead to decrease in the traffic and migration of company employees from City to rural areas can lead to shrink in the population due to which traffic problem will be solved. Moreover, due to development of various large companies settlement in rural areas lead to development of that area also. Thus it is apparent that overcrowded roads during rush hours or noise pollution would no longer be any serious problem. On the other hand, construction of big companies leads to increase in the level of air pollution in countryside which will may cause som environmental issue vn future. To conclude, although relocating companies can lead to development of rural areas and can decrease traffic in cities but due to settlement of industries pollution level of countryside will increase dramatically.
In this global era, increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and housing problem in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
cities could
be solved
by relocating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and factories and their employees to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
However
, I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this. In this essay, we will analyze how moving of
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big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
benificial
and how this step can effect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, moving large
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companies
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
to decrease in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and migration of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
employees from City to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
to shrink in the population due to which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
problem will
be solved
.
Moreover
, due to development of various large
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "companies'" or "company's"?
companies
settlement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
to development of that
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area
also
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
it is apparent that overcrowded roads during rush hours or noise pollution would no longer be any serious problem.
On the other hand
, construction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
leads to increase in the level of air pollution in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
which will may cause
Possible spelling mistake found.
som
environmental issue
Possible spelling mistake found.
vn
future.
To conclude
, although relocating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
to development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
and can decrease
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
in cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
due to settlement of industries pollution level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
will increase
dramatically
.
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IELTS essay Traffic and housing problems in major cities could be solved by moving large companies and factories and their employees to the countryside. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
196 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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