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Traffic and housing problems could be solved by moving large companies, factories and their employees to the countryside. Do you agree or disagree?

Traffic and housing problems could be solved by moving large companies, factories and their employees to the countryside. A7Mx
There had been a heated debated about whether a plenty of problems related directly to the transportation and accommodation could be deal with by relocated some huge companies as well as factories to the rural area. Personally, I partly agree with this satement. This essay will discuss my both points of views. On the one hand, it is undeniable that a lot of companies or manufactories ocupied the large number of lands to build and demand for the production. Therefore, it lead to numerous of issues about housing. So the rapidly increasing herd population has led to the need for a home. That mean, if some this kind of constructions move to the countryside it could completely resolve this problems. In addition, many factories had the big delivery transportation systems such as trucks, etc which could impact seriously on the road. For example, the traffic jam was cause by lots of big vehicles move around in the city. On the other hand, when we used this solutions to tackle with many problems which can lead to another inconvenient things. More especially, if the employees's companies or factories moved to the place which really far from their home. Then, they have to waste their time to caught the mass transits to go to work. Moreover, for those who had a private car, that solotions will take a lot of time to go to workplace and it not safe for some person who leave late. In a nutshell, some individuals believe that tranfer some companies as well as factories to another areas could combat a variety of matters associated with traffic and housing.
There had been a heated debated about whether a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of problems related
directly
to the transportation and accommodation could be
Consider using a past participle here: "dealt".
deal
with by relocated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
to the rural area.
Personally
, I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
Possible spelling mistake found.
satement
. This essay will discuss my both points of views.

On the one hand, it is undeniable that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
or
Possible spelling mistake found.
manufactories
Possible spelling mistake found.
ocupied
the large number of lands to build and demand for the production.
Therefore
, it
Did you mean "leads"?
lead
to numerous of issues about housing.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the
rapidly
increasing herd population has led to the need for a home. That mean, if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
this kind of constructions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to the countryside it could completely resolve
Did you mean "these"?
this
problems.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
had the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
delivery transportation systems such as trucks, etc which could impact
seriously
on the road.
For example
, the traffic jam was
Did you mean "caused"?
cause
by lots of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
vehicles
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
around in the city.

On the other hand
, when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
Did you mean "these"?
this
solutions to tackle with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems which can lead to another inconvenient things. More
especially
, if the
Did you mean "employee's" or "employees'"?
employees's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to the place which
really
far from their home. Then, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
waste their time
Did you mean "to catch"?
to caught
the mass transits to go to work.
Moreover
, for those who had a private car, that
Possible spelling mistake found.
solotions
will take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time to go to workplace and
It seems that a verb is missing.
it
not
The word "safe" is an adjective. Did you mean the verb "save"?
safe
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
person who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
late.

In a nutshell,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals believe that
Possible spelling mistake found.
tranfer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
to another areas could combat a variety of matters associated with traffic and housing.
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IELTS essay Traffic and housing problems could be solved by moving large companies, factories and their employees to the countryside.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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