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Some believe that the Olympic games help bring people from different nations together, while others claim that holding the Olympics wastes money which could be used for important issues.

Some believe that the Olympic games help bring people from different nations together, while others claim that holding the Olympics wastes money which could be used for important issues. DpRj
It is widely believed that holding of the Olympic games are considered to be beneficial owing to the fact that it provides an opportunity to enhance circumstances related to international relations. In spite of the fact that there are numerous positives brought by allocating funds on such events, other people claim that it would be unprofitable for the state’s budget. In this essay, I will consider both perspectives and give my personal point of view. One of main plus points of investing a large amount of money on championship is that it gives a chance to attract numerous individuals who came from overseas countries, besides, it is a good source of foreign currency and is brought by tourists to make a significant contribution to the country's budget. As an illustration, Russia would be the best example due to the fact that two third of total incomes is made up by foreign explorers who visit it, while the Olympic Games were held in 2018. it is worth mentioning that it would be the best way to promote local culture, customs and traditions among new arrivals. As a result, more folks living in other corners of the world will want to come back and discover famous destinations. In contrast, it is thought by a handful of people that such spectacular activities are superfluous, owing to the fact that by organizing such competitions takes too much cash and time. The majority of individuals claim that there are other problematic areas which state authorities shall solve. An increasing number of people think that the government should have to invest capital on hospitals in order to improve the quality of medical facilities and pharmaceuticals. Summarizing the ideas mentioned above, there are both positives and negatives by splashing out money on arranging international forms of competition among the sportsmen. Despite the fact that it ensures an opportunity to promote domestic culture and establish the state’s economy, other people are persuaded that the state power should financially contribute to other and more important fields such as medicine. Personally, I am in favor of the idea that it would be profitable for the country and all benefits prevail.
It is
widely
believed that holding of the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Olympic games
are considered
to be beneficial owing to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that it provides an opportunity to enhance circumstances related to international relations.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that there are numerous positives brought by allocating funds on such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that it would be unprofitable for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state’s
budget. In this essay, I will consider both perspectives and give my personal point of view.

One of main plus points of investing a large amount of money on championship is that it gives a chance to attract numerous individuals who came from overseas countries,
besides
, it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
source of foreign currency and
is brought
by tourists to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a significant contribution to the country's budget. As an illustration, Russia would be the best example due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that two third of total incomes
is made
up by foreign explorers who visit it, while the Olympic Games
were held
in 2018.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is worth mentioning that it would be the best way to promote local culture, customs and traditions among new arrivals.
As a result
, more folks living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
corners of the world will want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back and discover
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
destinations.

In contrast
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by a handful of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that such spectacular activities are superfluous, owing to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that by organizing such competitions takes too much cash and time. The majority of individuals claim that there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
problematic areas which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
authorities shall solve. An increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
invest capital on hospitals in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of medical facilities and pharmaceuticals.

Summarizing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
mentioned above, there are both positives and negatives by splashing out money on arranging international forms of competition among the sportsmen. Despite the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that it ensures an opportunity to promote domestic culture and establish the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state’s
economy,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are persuaded
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
power should
financially
contribute to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
and more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
fields such as medicine.
Personally
, I am in favor of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that it would be profitable for the country and all benefits prevail.
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IELTS essay Some believe that the Olympic games help bring people from different nations together, while others claim that holding the Olympics wastes money which could be used for important issues.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
360 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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