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Traditional encyclopaedias vs online

Traditional encyclopaedias vs online RNnqV
Communal online encyclopedias have been one of the latest contributions to society. According to the reading, articles and information found on the internet can be altered or deleted by any users. These types of problems would never happen in a printed encyclopedia. To begin with, the reading stated that online encyclopedias their information is not hundred percent accurate, and also lacks academic credentials. Traditional encyclopedias were written by experts which had the required knowledge. The lecturer argued this point. The online encyclopedia is not perfect, and the chances of making errors are impossible to avoid. However, the advantage of the online encyclopedia is that errors can be corrected quickly, while the conventional encyclopedia errors would take decades to correct. Furthermore, the reading passages stated that online encyclopaedias are easy to get corrupted by hackers which in traditional encyclopedias is not possible. The lecturer mentioned that there are different ways to protect important information from hackers. The crucial fact of encyclopedias, protected them from hackers because it does not allow anyone to make any change to the original information. Moreover, online encyclopedias have people who supervise any changes made in articles and if they find malicious information, they eliminate these changes. Lastly, the passages hold that popular information online focuses on the depth of the information and provides false impressions to the readers about what is important and what is not. Nevertheless, the lecturer argues that the diversity of the articles is what makes the online information valuable. Moreover, the online encyclopaedias provide enough space for writers to write all the details of the articles or information. On the other hand, traditional encyclopedias had limited space and only contain what the group of experts decide what is important and what is not. Thus, this contradicts what the passages stated.
Communal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
encyclopedias have been one of the latest contributions to society. According to the reading,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
articles
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
found on the internet can
be altered
or deleted by any users. These types of problems would never happen in a printed encyclopedia.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the reading stated that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
encyclopedias their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is not
Use "a hundred" or use a number before 'hundred'.
hundred
percent accurate, and
also
lacks academic credentials. Traditional encyclopedias
were written
by experts which had the required knowledge. The lecturer argued this point. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
encyclopedia is not perfect, and the chances of making errors are impossible to avoid.
However
, the advantage of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
encyclopedia is that errors can
be corrected
quickly
, while the conventional encyclopedia errors would take decades to correct.

Furthermore
, the reading passages stated that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
Do not mix variants of the same word ('encyclopaedia' and 'encyclopedia') within a single text.
encyclopaedias
are easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
corrupted by hackers which in traditional encyclopedias is not possible. The lecturer mentioned that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways to protect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
from hackers. The crucial fact of encyclopedias, protected them from hackers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
anyone to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
to the original
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
encyclopedias have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who supervise any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
made in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
articles
and if they find malicious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
, they eliminate these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.

Lastly
, the passages hold that popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
focuses on the depth of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and provides false impressions to the readers about what is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and what is not.
Nevertheless
, the lecturer argues that the diversity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
articles
is what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
valuable.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
Do not mix variants of the same word ('encyclopaedia' and 'encyclopedia') within a single text.
encyclopaedias
provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
space for writers to write all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
articles
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
.
On the other hand
, traditional encyclopedias had limited space and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
contain what the group of experts
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "decides"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'decide' is not always incorrect.)
decide
what is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and what is not.
Thus
, this contradicts what the passages stated.
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IELTS essay Traditional encyclopaedias vs online

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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