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Tourism is not beneficial, according to some.Write both view and your opinion.

Tourism is not beneficial, according to some. Write both view and your opinion. jR8wN
Tourism is a huge industry in the world now. Some individuals think it is not advantages, while the others believe that it can bring more benefits than disadvantages. In my opinion, the letters' view is more reasonable because travel industry can boost local economy and facilitate the stability of an area. Traveling industry makes a significant contribution to economiy of a district. With the growing of the reputation of a site, more and more people would like to come to visit. The tourists will buy site's tickets, book hotels and consume food in the local resturants. Those consumptions will bring a large number of wealth for the local residents. For example, Jiu Zhai Gou, a valley which has the amazing landscape attracts many travellers to visit. The local people use this merits to build a lot of high quaility hotels and hostels and they develop the resturants and souvenirs industry, which made the towns around there broken the poverty and achieving the common prosperity. In addition, promoting the steady of a place is an another benefit. Some people might argue that too many tourists could bring higher crimes since more thieves or robbers would come for costomers. However, such situation could happen in a short term, but local citizens and authority will not let this situation keeping long time. They will build the more effective system for reflecting criminals in order to protect the reputation and tourism of the area. For example, the government build more CCTVs on the Great wall and many local residents make different teams of volunteers to protect the order of the district. This motivate the great wall is more saftey than many other cities instead. In conclusion, I do not think the tourism is not advantageous, because it results in many benefits including promoting the economy and stablity of a place.
Tourism is a huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
in the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is not advantages, while the others believe that it can bring more benefits than disadvantages. In my opinion, the letters' view is more reasonable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
travel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
can boost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
economy and facilitate the stability of an area.

Traveling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a significant contribution to
Possible spelling mistake found.
economiy
of a district. With the growing of the reputation of a site, more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to visit. The tourists will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
site's tickets, book hotels and consume food in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
Possible spelling mistake found.
resturants
. Those
Possible spelling mistake found.
consumptions
will bring
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
wealth for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
residents.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Jiu
Possible spelling mistake found.
Zhai
Possible spelling mistake found.
Gou
, a valley which has the amazing landscape attracts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
to visit. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this merits to build
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
high
Possible spelling mistake found.
quaility
hotels and
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
hostels and
they develop the
Possible spelling mistake found.
resturants
and souvenirs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
, which made the towns around there broken the poverty and achieving the common prosperity.

In addition
, promoting the steady of a place is
One of these determiners is redundant in this context. Choose only one: "a benefit" or "another benefit".
an another benefit
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
might argue that too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tourists could bring higher crimes since more thieves or robbers would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
costomers
.
However
, such situation could happen in a short term,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
citizens and authority will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
this situation keeping long time. They will build the more effective system for reflecting criminals in order to protect the reputation and tourism of the area.
For example
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
build more
Possible spelling mistake found.
CCTVs on
the Great wall and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
residents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
teams of volunteers to protect the order of the district.
The verb 'motivate' is plural. Did you mean: "This motivates"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
This motivate
the great wall is more
Possible spelling mistake found.
saftey
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other cities
instead
.

In conclusion
, I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the tourism is not advantageous,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it results in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits including promoting the economy and
Possible spelling mistake found.
stablity
of a place.
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IELTS essay Tourism is not beneficial, according to some. Write both view and your opinion.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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