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Topic 1: Some countries argue that it is necessary to strengthen patrol guards to drive off illegal migrants who want to enter their territories. Some experts, however believe that such action can violate humanitarian rigths. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Topic 1: Some countries argue that it is necessary to strengthen patrol guards to drive off illegal migrants who want to enter their territories. Some experts, however believe that such action can violate humanitarian rigths. GM9ro
Immigration has been taking place in human life for a long time; but it is becoming more common nowadays. The reason for this is overall contemporary progress in the field of travel and technology. In addition, the population of certain states and regions is nowadays expanding due to the immigrants, who come to new places looking for better life due to the difference between poor and rich countries that growing at present. Unauthorized immigrants considered to bring a lot of losses. The United States is one of the state who argue that undocumented immigrants should be stopped as it's bad for the community and build a wall to stop the immigrants. Illegal aliens can bring damage the economy by taking jobs from the locals and do not pay taxes. In additionally, unauthorized migrant who comes from the city nears the boundary are riddled with crime and drugs. Thus, the arrival of illegal immigrants is considered to bring more harm than benefits to the state or local citizens. Strengthen the line unit in order to stop the immigrants can be contemplated to violate the human rights. To secure the country from unauthorized asylum seekers, the patrol guards forces returned the migrant into another rustic with no specific reception arrangements were made and no agreement was in place guaranteeing the protection of the intercepted refugees from refoulement. In further, Public health research has documented widening racial and ethnic disparities within the militarized boundary zone as a result of punitive and discriminatory immigration enforcement practices. Border officers frequently misunderstand or even ignore the scope of their legal authority when carrying out border enforcement operations, constituting abuses of human rights and causing harm to safety. In my point of view, it is an obligation to the state to enhance the patrol guards to drive off illegal immigrants are important to reduce the criminals that might be happen to maintain the security and welfare of the citizen itself. For those illegal asylum seekers who crossed the region because of the chaos and violence or chaos in their country better be recorded so the government can monitor them. However, protocols can be ruled out since it can affect the human rights of the unlawful settler. Other than that, Congress and the courts should clarify the laws about immigration making them simple so that all parties involved realize what the state expected of them before entering.
Immigration has been taking place in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
life for a long time;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is becoming more common nowadays.
The reason for this is
overall
contemporary progress in the field of travel and technology.
In addition
, the population of certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
states
and regions is nowadays expanding due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigrants
, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to new places looking for better life due to the difference between poor and rich countries that growing at present.

Unauthorized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigrants
The verb 'considered' is used with the gerund form: "considered bringing".
considered to bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
losses. The United
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
States
is one of the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
state


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
who
argue that undocumented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigrants
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
as it's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for the community and build a wall to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigrants
.
This phrase is considered offensive. Consider an alternative.
Illegal aliens
can bring damage the economy by taking jobs from the locals and do not pay taxes. In
additionally
, unauthorized migrant who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from the city nears the boundary
are riddled
with crime and drugs.
Thus
, the arrival of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigrants
is considered
to bring more harm than benefits to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
or local citizens.

Strengthen the line unit in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigrants
can
be contemplated
to violate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
rights. To secure the country from unauthorized asylum seekers, the patrol guards forces returned the migrant into another rustic with no specific reception arrangements
were made
and no agreement was in place guaranteeing the protection of the intercepted refugees from
Possible spelling mistake found.
refoulement
. In
further
, Public health research has documented widening racial and ethnic disparities within the militarized boundary zone
as a result
of punitive and discriminatory immigration enforcement practices. Border officers
frequently
misunderstand or even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the scope of their legal authority when carrying out border enforcement operations, constituting abuses of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
rights and causing harm to safety.

In my point of view, it is an obligation to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
to enhance the patrol guards to drive off
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigrants
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the criminals that might be
Consider using the past participle "happened"?
happen
to maintain the security and welfare of the citizen itself. For those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illegal
asylum seekers who crossed the region
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the chaos and violence or chaos in their country better
be recorded
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can monitor them.
However
, protocols can
be ruled
out since it can affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
rights of the unlawful settler. Other than that, Congress and the courts should clarify the laws about immigration making them simple
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that all parties involved realize what the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
of them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
entering.
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IELTS essay Topic 1: Some countries argue that it is necessary to strengthen patrol guards to drive off illegal migrants who want to enter their territories. Some experts, however believe that such action can violate humanitarian rigths.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
399 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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