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too many countries have a large number of young people as compared to old people. discuss the advantages and disadvantages

too many countries have a large number of young people as compared to old people. discuss the advantages and disadvantages V7jw
The average age of the population for many nations has declined in the past few years which has resulted in an increased number of young people. Some individuals see it as positive as younger people are the driving force of the economy whereas some argue that elderly people have an associated experience which is important for the betterment of society. The larger number of young people has benefits but is also detrimental in some cases. Youth is the main contributor to the economy of a nation. The old people of the nation cannot do manual labour jobs such as carpenter, construction workers etc. For example, China has one of the best economies in the world and the reason for that as stated by many economists is a large number of young workers in the country. Another advantage of the increased number of young people is that young people are open to new ideas. The market as a whole keeps changing thereby there is a need to adapt and evolve with the changing trends of the market. Young people are not hindered by old-fashioned practices and hence can adapt more easily. On the other hand, old people have gathered knowledge and experience in years. No matter how skilled a person is, a venture can only be made successful with experience. Too many young people lead to a state where there are limited people with experience on higher posts. Handling difficult situations becomes a problem in such cases. In my opinion, both young and old people are an essential part of the nation and only a balance between the number of both can lead to a growing economy.
The average age of the population for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
has declined in the past few years which has resulted in an increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
as younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are the driving force of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have an associated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the betterment of society. The larger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
has benefits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
is
also
detrimental in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases. Youth is the main contributor to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
cannot do manual
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
jobs such as carpenter, construction workers etc.
For example
, China has one of the best
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economies
in the world and the reason for that as stated by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
economists is a large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
workers in the country. Another advantage of the increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are open to new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
. The market as a whole
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
changing thereby there is a need to adapt and evolve with the changing trends of the market.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not hindered by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-fashioned practices and
hence
can adapt more
easily
.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have gathered knowledge and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
in years. No matter how skilled a person is, a venture can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be made
successful with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
. Too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lead to a state where there
are limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
on higher posts. Handling difficult situations becomes a problem in such cases. In my opinion, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are an essential part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a balance between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of both can lead to a growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
.
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IELTS essay too many countries have a large number of young people as compared to old people. discuss the advantages and disadvantages

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
276 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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