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Today’s top professional athletes often have salaries and bonuses in the tens of millions of dollars. Do you think these athletes deserve such high compensation? Why or why not? Explain your position and use specific reasons and examples.

Today’s top professional athletes often have salaries and bonuses in the tens of millions of dollars. Do you think these athletes deserve such high compensation? Why or why not? Explain your position and use specific reasons and examples. DwLbW
We have usually heard about football stars' lavish life: open luxury parties, purchase expensive cars, date with top models. Are they overpaid? I think it is a no for a reason that they create a large profit for their companies and usually have a short career span. In the professional sporting field, superstars bring most of the profit for the club and attract a huge amount of fans. Leo Messi, who is considered a Barcelona legend, at his peak has a salary of 500 thousand dollars a week and equal 4 times a second high-paid football player of the club. That also tells that sports star is just paid according to the value they bring, the number of football shirt of his name is sold. Moreover, this high salary actually does not make un unfair to other jobs, just like the CEO of Discovery Channel who claim 200 hundred million dollars in the last year or ‘Marketing King’ Phạm Đức Tùng receive a net 100 thousand dollar per week. People have an enormous salary when they are at the top of the job, not only for athlete stars. Different from other careers, the working span of professional athletes is short and at risk of injuries, usually suffering from public intrusion in their private life. To scientific evidence, athletes reach the strongest physical ability at the age of 30 and just start deteriorating from here. In reality football players usually end their career at 37 years old. That is in the condition of no severe injuries, in fact, Cong Vinh retires at 30 years old, Cong Phuong retires at 25 years old due to ankle injuries. Moreover, they have more of an insecure life, every small movement, the gesture is under public eyes. The media just wait for their false to criticize, harming their image. In conclusion, professional athletes deserve high-paid for bringing profit to their club and are at risk of injuries, life intrusion, and a short career.
We have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usually
heard about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
football
stars' lavish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
: open luxury parties,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
expensive cars, date with top models. Are they overpaid? I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is a no for a reason that they create a large profit for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usually
have a short
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
span.

In the professional sporting field, superstars bring most of the profit for the club and attract a huge amount of fans. Leo Messi, who
is considered
a Barcelona legend, at his peak has a salary of 500 thousand dollars a week and equal 4 times a second high-paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
football
player of the club. That
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tells
that sports star is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
paid according to the value they bring, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
football
shirt of his name
is sold
.
Moreover
, this high salary actually does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
Possible spelling mistake found.
un
unfair to other jobs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like the CEO of Discovery Channel who claim 200 hundred million dollars in the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
or ‘Marketing King’
Possible spelling mistake found.
Phạm
Possible spelling mistake found.
Đức
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tùng
receive a net 100 thousand
Possible agreement error. The noun 'dollar' seems to be countable, so consider using: "dollars".
dollar
per week.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have an enormous salary when they are at the top of the job, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athlete
stars.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
, the working span of professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
is short and at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
injuries
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usually
suffering from public intrusion in their private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. To scientific evidence,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
reach the strongest physical ability at the age of 30 and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
deteriorating from here. In reality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
football
players
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
at 37 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.
That is
in the condition of no severe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
injuries
, in fact, Cong
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vinh
retires at 30 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, Cong
Possible spelling mistake found.
Phuong
retires at 25 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
due to ankle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
injuries
.
Moreover
, they have more of an insecure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, every
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
movement, the gesture is under public eyes. The media
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
wait for their false to criticize, harming their image.

In conclusion
, professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
deserve high-paid for bringing profit to their club and are at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
injuries
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
intrusion, and a short
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
.
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IELTS essay Today’s top professional athletes often have salaries and bonuses in the tens of millions of dollars. Do you think these athletes deserve such high compensation? Why or why not? Explain your position and use specific reasons and examples.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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